76 Things Banned in Leviticus

Check out 15, this baby is a Sinner

This weeks post is a simple list of things that banned in the book of Leviticus with chapter and verse next to them.  This is the same book that we use the line: 

Leviticus 18:22 - You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.  

1.       Burning any yeast or honey in offerings to God (2:11)

2.       Failing to include salt in offerings to God (2:13)

3.       Eating fat (3:17)

4.       Eating blood (3:17)

5.       Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve witnessed (5:1)

6.       Failing to testify against any wrongdoing you’ve been told about (5:1)

7.       Touching an unclean animal (5:2)

8.       Carelessly making an oath (5:4)

9.       Deceiving a neighbour about something trusted to them (6:2)

10.   Finding lost property and lying about it (6:3)

11.   Bringing unauthorised fire before God (10:1)

12.   Letting your hair become unkempt (10:6)

13.   Tearing your clothes (10:6)

14.   Drinking alcohol in holy places (10:9)

15.   Eating an animal which doesn’t both chew cud and has a divided hoof (cf: camel, rabbit, pig) (11:4-7)

16.   Touching the carcass of any of the above (problems here for football) (11:8)

17.   Eating – or touching the carcass of – any seafood without fins or scales (11:10-12)

18.   Eating – or touching the carcass of - eagle, the vulture, the black vulture, the red kite, any kind of black kite, any kind of raven, the horned owl, the screech owl, the gull, any kind of hawk, the little owl, the cormorant, the great owl, the white owl, the desert owl, the osprey, the stork, any kind of heron, the hoopoe and the bat. (11:13-19)

19.   Eating – or touching the carcass of – flying insects with four legs, unless those legs are jointed (11:20-22)

20.   Eating any animal which walks on all four and has paws (good news for cats) (11:27)

21.   Eating – or touching the carcass of – the weasel, the rat, any kind of great lizard, the gecko, the monitor lizard, the wall lizard, the skink and the chameleon (11:29)

22.   Eating – or touching the carcass of – any creature which crawls on many legs, or its belly (11:41-42)

23.   Going to church within 33 days after giving birth to a boy (12:4)

24.   Going to church within 66 days after giving birth to a girl (12:5)

25.   Having sex with your mother (18:7)

26.   Having sex with your father’s wife (18:8)

27.   Having sex with your sister (18:9)

28.   Having sex with your granddaughter (18:10)

29.   Having sex with your half-sister (18:11)

30.   Having sex with your biological aunt (18:12-13)

31.   Having sex with your uncle’s wife (18:14)

32.   Having sex with your daughter-in-law (18:15)

33.   Having sex with your sister-in-law (18:16)

34.   Having sex with a woman and also having sex with her daughter or granddaughter (bad news for Alan Clark) (18:17)

35.   Marrying your wife’s sister while your wife still lives (18:18)

36.   Having sex with a woman during her period (18:19)

37.   Having sex with your neighbour’s wife (18:20)

38.   Giving your children to be sacrificed to Molek (18:21)

39.   Having sex with a man “as one does with a woman” (18:22)

40.   Having sex with an animal (18:23)

41.   Making idols or “metal gods” (19:4)

42.   Reaping to the very edges of a field (19:9)

43.   Picking up grapes that have fallen in your  vineyard (19:10)

44.   Stealing (19:11)

45.   Lying (19:11)

46.   Swearing falsely on God’s name (19:12)

47.   Defrauding your neighbour (19:13)

48.   Holding back the wages of an employee overnight (not well observed these days) (19:13)

49.   Cursing the deaf or abusing the blind (19:14)

50.   Perverting justice, showing partiality to either the poor or the rich (19:15)

51.   Spreading slander (19:16)

52.   Doing anything to endanger a neighbour’s life (19:16)

53.   Seeking revenge or bearing a grudge (19:18)

54.   Mixing fabrics in clothing (19:19)

55.   Cross-breeding animals (19:19)

56.   Planting different seeds in the same field (19:19)

57.   Sleeping with another man’s slave (19:20)

58.   Eating fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23)

59.   Practising divination or seeking omens (tut, tut astrology) (19:26)

60.   Trimming your beard (19:27)

61.   Cutting your hair at the sides (19:27)

62.   Getting tattoos (19:28)

63.   Making your daughter prostitute herself (19:29)

64.   Turning to mediums or spiritualists (19:31)

65.   Not standing in the presence of the elderly (19:32)

66.   Mistreating foreigners – “the foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born”  (19:33-34)

67.   Using dishonest weights and scales (19:35-36)

68.   Cursing your father or mother (punishable by death) (20:9)

69.   Marrying a prostitute, divorcee or widow if you are a priest (21:7,13)

70.   Entering a place where there’s a dead body as a priest (21:11)

71.   Slaughtering a cow/sheep and its young on the same day (22:28)

72.   Working on the Sabbath (23:3)

73.   Blasphemy (punishable by stoning to death) (24:14)

74.   Inflicting an injury; killing someone else’s animal; killing a person must be punished in kind (24:17-22)

75.   Selling land permanently (25:23)

76.   Selling an Israelite as a slave (foreigners are fine) (25:42)

Why Glee is Dangerous (Am I turning Conservative?)

I have no problem admitting that I am, in fact, a GLeek.  Since the shows pilot in May of 2009 I have seen almost every episode and the episodes of the Oxygen Network's The Glee Project, well actually just season two.  Yes, people might make fun of me and criticize me but I have always found the show to be the best American "camp" of the day.  I liked the fact that there was such a popular show on television that focused, to a degree, on theatre and was started by theatre people.  Matthew Morrison and Lea Michele, two of the hottest names on broadway teamed up with the fabulous Ryan Murphy and created this following.  It was fun, very stupid, but deliciously wonderful.  Even though the following has turned into a bit of a culture cult, there is still a degree of fun and whimsy that the show produces.  But I don't think I can say that anymore.

For a long time now I have been watching episodes of Glee as they have deteriorated, in writing, acting, singing, producing, format, and most importantly content.  The show that I adored.  The one that stood on the principles of individuality, love, and song has been destroyed because of the unreal expectations that the show now produces.  I loved the show because I was so happy to find a network show, and a network show ON FOX, that supported homosexual rights.  I was thrilled, but I now see this support as the producers attempt to say that their show is progressive and intelligent when really it's a ton of hogwash.  (Not the fact that it supports the LGBT community because that still rocks!)

The expectations created by the cast members give their followers horrific ideas of what it means to be an actor, to work in theatre, to make it in this profession.  I won't even touch on the fact that they are able to shorten the work, by not actually working at all, and yet their dancing, music, choreography was all perfect.  I get that level of suspended belief that must follow with a show like this.  And to a lesser extent if this show was billed as a middle of the road soap opera I would have no gripes whatsoever, but it isn't and this "cult" following is really worrisome.

It's hard in the theatre profession and if you look at the show here are the rules that it teaches you when it comes to theatre:

1.  If you get cast in the wrong part, pout about it:  I speak in particular about the stupid shows that are performed at the fake McKinley High.  Grease and I believe, oh hell I don't remember the first one, but they look at acting as if the best talent should get the roles they want.  Umm hello, that never happens in the theatre profession.  It doesn't happen in college or high school or even the class play.  And when you don't get the "right" part you should what, complain about it.  Oh thanks Glee let us perpetuate a dramatic event that is already to common in our profession, but because we (Glee) are progressive we can cave in.  Fuck no.  Would I like to play the part of one of the princes in Into the Woods, yes, will I, no.  I am 6'8", overweight, and usually ghoulish on stage.  I look more like Shrek than the prince, but does that bother me?  NO. When Shrek rolls around I will have a better opportunity than the other guy.

2.  The only place where Theatre exists is New York:  Now you can argue that Mike went to, oh I don't know to dance, Mercedes went to LA (because of one, ONE, Youtube clip), Dianna Agron (Forget the name) got into Yale for theatre and then there are a couple of misfits, but the story focuses on the fact that if Rachel doesn't get into NYADA her whole life is ruined.  FUCK that, oh and Curt too.  Which brings me to my next point.

4.  NYADA is the only place to go to school:  One, NYADA is not real although it is blatantly based on AMDA in NY and LA.  Apparently Rachel, who has "prepared" for stardom her whole life has no idea that THERE ARE OTHER SCHOOLS IN THE U.S. FOR DRAMA.  But the shows focus on NYADA gives people the horrifically stupid idea that if they don't get into their dream school then they will fail.  Wonderful.  I didn't get into my dream school.  Twice.  But I wound up in a great undergrad that led to a fucking fantastic MFA at VCU.  Oh and I work in theatre.

4.  Everyone will be successful, except for Finn:  Everyone is successful.  But how can I say that when Santana doesn't have a job and Puck is well Puck.  Notice that they live very far away and still manage to travel back to Lima frequently.  It costs me over a grand to fly across to California from here.  Also that goddamn apartment in NYC.  They say that because it is so far away they can afford it.  On the low end that is a $5,000 apartment.  

But all of this theatrics is just a small testament to the show's stupidity.  Honestly, who cares about this bullshit.  If you suspended belief maybe this isn't damning theatre kids (it is and giving them false expectations, but hey, that's just me)  The real issue with the show is the content.

WHY GLEE IS DANGEROUS:

I come to the newest rant because of this past weeks episode in which a school shooting took place.  Well there wasn't anyone hurt but the school went into panic and lockdown because of gunshots heard.  The episode caused a lot of controversy because the shooter was a scared down-syndrome character, Becky and because the Newtown Group thought it was exploiting the tragedy.  The real problem is neither of these two issues.  It is the fact that Glee produced a show that had there been a real school shooting most of those kids would have died because of the stupidity of the school.

In most school's there is a lockdown procedure in place in case of a school shooting.  A New Jersey school district called this a Lockdown Yellow and they run drills:

Instructions to the students include:

1. "Go to the room nearest your location in the hallway.
2. "No one will be able to leave room for any reason.
3. "Silence must be maintained (Use of cell phones are not permitted).
4. "Make sure you are marked present.
5. "Do not leave the classroom until directed by PA System, telephone or by an administrator."

Other lockdown procedures at other institutions include barricading the door, having the teacher arming themselves with a weapon, and waiting.  Some consider this to be the wrong plan of attack.

Greg Crane, a former SWAT officer has instituted a new policy called ALICE or Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate.  This plan looks the lockdown procedure and adds the element of improvisation due to the situation on the teachers part and possible confrontation such as throwing things at the shooter and running. "We've taught a generation of Americans to be passive and static and wait for police, the people shot and killed in the Columbine library sat there for five minutes before the shooters entered and shot 18 of them."  Said Crane.  Now I won't go into an argument on whether or not lockdown drills or ALICE or other ideas instituted to keep our children safe are good or bad, but I will look at how Glee handled the situation.  

Hero

Teachers such as Vicki Soto and Kaitlin Roig, teachers at Sandy Hook are heroes.  Roig locked her classroom door and then barricaded herself and her 14 students, keeping them quiet, in a locked bathroom.  Soto became a human shield by dying to protect her students.  These are heroes.  And they are in the end ordinary people who stepped up to do extraordinary things.

Mr. Shue and the other teachers/administrators at McKinley High are not.  

First off Mr. Shue is an awful teacher.  He was the Spanish teacher for multiple years before anyone found out that he couldn't teach Spanish and when the school found out they moved him to History.  NO, that is where you get fired.  Another horrific statement about the state of education in this country.  Now when the shots rang out here is a list of things that he did poorly.  

1.  He told the kids to take cover and they did all around the sides of a circular room.  In almost every lockdown procedure list it is said to put all students against one wall, and the wall that is on the door's side so if the shooter were to look in a window they wouldn't see anyone immediately.

2.  He hid with another teacher away from the students.  A teacher's job in this situation is incredibly scary because it is their job should the shooter come in the room to disarm the shooter, or protect the students or both.  Whether armed with a large weapon or barricaded against their students, a teacher no longer can think about their own lives when in a situation that requires them to protect their students.  Kids come first, no exceptions.

3.  He asks his students to use twitter, text, or try and find out what is going on.  Although in this terrifying situation students would immediately use their phones the teacher must try and keep the noise non-existent.  So they would be on silent.  Everyone of those phones was on full volume.

4.  There is too much talking, moving, and overall chaos in the room.  This is not to say that there is not chaos like this in a shooting.  There is terrible lack of remembering these protocols, these steps, but a television show that considers itself a Moral leader has no business showing these types of mistakes.  

5.  The school is re-opened without the gun being found.

6.  The school is re-opened only days after the incident.

And on and on and on.

It is quite possible that I lost steam towards the end of this rant.  I am still suffering from Pneumonia and on a lot of medications, but something that must be looked at is the impact of negative expectations that shows like Glee have on children.  We need to stop celebrating them.  

20 Profound Statements…That Aren't That Profound...or Important

20.  Action Movies are Dead:  And this is not just because I just saw Olympus has Fallen, although that is a contributing factor.  Remember back in the 1990's when we made fun of action movies like Air Force One, Con Air, The Rock, well those are classics compared to the fare we get today.  Olympus Has Fallen serves as a wonderful example of the death of action movies.  It was hilarious in how bad it was.  The cast includes Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Gerard Butler, Ashley Judd, and many others.  Each of these actors can carry their own movies.  Obviously this is where they spent their budget.  Some of the worse CGI work I have ever seen, a plot that is predicated on the fact that if the front door is breached the White House will fall, Aaron Eckhart is a terribly nice man, but terrible President.  There are so many problems least of which is after Butler saves…the country from nuclear annihilation his reward is that he gets his job back on the Secret Service.  One, he is seen on world wide television as the savior of the White House.  Isn't the job of a secret service agent to be, umm, secret.  The other is that he saves the world.  Half the major government is dead and the Army Chief of Staff is an imbecile, you are telling me he couldn't get a better job.  Sorry.  Not meaning to rant.  Although, wait, that's the name of the blog.  I like guys like Jason Statham, but unfortunately the action industry is dead, and I do mean the mainstream action industry.  Movies like Crank that are shot in a Grindhouse fashion are still thriving.  But nowadays you don't get real action stars like Willis, Gibson and Glover, Stallone.  The time has passed.  Perhaps as we get older the offshoots will succeed to the point where they become the new medium.

19.  April Fools Day is Awesome:  When done correctly.  When meant to hurt, demean, or destroy other people it is stupid and ignorant of the title.  It is about fooling, about being a trickster, about fun and triviality.  This year I set an all new record with 65 people fooled.  I even got my Grandmother, on accident.  Some of my favorites that I used this year were: My Great Grandfather invented the fork, All cheese is invented in France, I was bit by a rabid raccoon, and The pope resigned because of bad bunions.  A solid year to be sure.

18.  Although not in the news very much, Donald Trump is Still an Idiot.  Enough said.  

17.  Cat Positioning is Wrong:  I have ranted before on the fact that there are too many cats on Facebook.  Although I, too, have participated if only briefly in this cat craze, it is still wrong.  Positioning your cat because it looks funny and taking a picture, making the cat play the piano, all of these things are wrong and are ultimately lower degrees, but still animal cruelty.

16.  Brittany Griner + NBA= Good:  The news reports that Mark Cuban is considering drafting Brittany Griner.  Obviously this is a publicity stunt, a media buy, a marketing ploy, and a way for Cuban to make money, but if Griner plays in even one NBA game, it will be a massive success and a big thing for women equality in sports.  Sure it may be about money, but what isn't.  The road to success is never filled with purely good intentions.  Don't tell me Branch Rickey wasn't in it for the money.

15.  20 Statements was Far Too Long a List:  I have no time.  Why am I doing this?

Last time Heigl was good at acting

14.  Katherine Heigl is Shit:  It is not just that she sucks in romantic comedies, but really that she flat out is an average to less than average actress at best.  Other than 27 Dresses she has been the cause of everyone of the movies that has flopped, and they all have.  You may say that Knocked Up is a good movie, but it really isn't a good movie.  It is a funny movie + Katherine Heigl.  Stop with the Heigl.

13.  Fox News Sucks, but…:  so does CNN.  CNN has become so shitty.  Read CNN.com and you'll will see how terrible it has become where not only is everything sensationalized but also blown so far out of proportion that it is quite despicable to see.  Every single news story is now breaking news.  They are the boy who cried wolf…constantly.  And a little food for thought.  This is what terrible Bill O'Reilly said "O'Reilly claimed last week that opponents simply "thump the Bible" and the biblical argument wasn't strong enough against reasonable logic that gay Americans just want to be treated like everyone else."  hmm.

12.  Sleep is Overrated:  Bullshit.  People who say this are full of shit and are most likely getting an adequate amount of sleep.  Damn them.  

11.  This Girl is Amazing:  Yes I am coming late to the party, but at least I showed up at all.  Talia Castellano is a hero and should by looked up to by everyone.  Made famous, last year, by The Ellen Show she is a 13 year old girl who dreams of being a fashion and makeup designer.  She has her own Youtube channel and is followed by over half a million people.  She also has suffered from multiple cancers that will likely claim her life and she speaks about them with the clarity and understanding that few people my age or older would be able to do.  And she is adorable.  Both tragic and horrible her story is also one that laughs in the face of unbelievable odds and never stops swimming forward.  

10.  Ellen Degeneres is Awesome:  I don't really need to say anything here cause it's just that.  Proven.  But petitioning for years and now Finding Dory is going to be made.  Good for her.

9.  Chocolate by Snow Patrol is their Best Song:  This is based on absolutely no information whatsoever.  

Poor Patrick

8.  Red Dawn Doesn't Hold Up:  Unfortunate but quite true.  Upon a recent viewing, aside from the many plot holes and character mishaps it is done too campy for such a serious movie.  Kids are dying and it's still being treated almost like Ferris Bueller.  Eventually it gets real.  But not in time to save the movie.  the jingoism, the commie bullshit, and the terrible, terrible script, in addition to the awful acting, make Red Dawn an almost unbearable movie to watch today.  Other movies that don't hold up:  Godzilla 2000, I know it was shit at the time, but I thought it was really funny, nope it's just shit.  Heavyweights, although you can clearly see where Ben Stiller got his inspiration for Dodgeball.  The Dark Crystal, I couldn't even make it 10 minutes into it again.  Any Superman other than the first one.  Also, Superman.  Finally, The Towering Inferno, Robert Wagner notices his building is on fire, so he throws a damp bath towel over his head and almost manages to mess up his hair. With a reassuring wink, he tells his workplace fuck buddy he once ran the 100-yard dash in 10 seconds flat and then proceeds to run out of his office and directly into a flaming chair, not 3 yards into his 100-yard dash.  Then in slow motion he runs into everything else that is on fire and falls through a sheer glass window.

7.  Footloose Has No Business Holding Up:  But it does.  This is truly one of the dumbest plots that I have ever heard of.  A town outlaws rock music and dancing.  And Kevin Bacon shakes it up.  So dumb, but yet a credible Bacon and Lori Singer along with a relatively great (relative for the movie) performance by Jon Lithgow makes this a good movie today.  Far better than the shot for shot remake.  

6.  Hashtags, LOL, and Totes:  Are ruining society.  Oh and Stephanie Meyer books too.

5.  Taylor Swift's Next Boyfriend:  Should sign an agreement that says if we break up you cannot use it is a song about me.  

4.  Caridad Svich is the Best Playwright Ever:  Not true, but she is damn good.  Look her up if you are in need of a play to read.

3.  The Red and White Equality Sign:  Was both incredibly trendy and overdone, and amazingly awesome.  It was great to see that much support and there was a day where that is all we talked about.  Good or bad it caused a conversation.

2.  I'm 6'8":  Same height as Brittany Griner.  I saw a report on her and people who are 6'8" are 99.36% taller than the rest of America.  Cool.

1.  Sportsmanship is Still Great to Watch:  A softball player tears her ACL on a homer that would win the game for her team.  If her teammates get off the bench she's declared out.  So the other team picks her up and carries her around the bases.  The Marcus Lattimore injury and both teams come out on the field in support of one of the best players in college sports.  Sports, both professional and College are the definition of competitive.  But it is wonderful to see people with humanity and compassion.  I think of this because of one major story from December.  "On December 2, Basque athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Burlada, Navarre. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai - bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics. As they entered the finishing straight, he saw the Kenyan runner - the certain winner of the race - mistakenly pull up about 10 meters before the finish, thinking he had already crossed the line.  Fernández Anaya quickly caught up with him, but instead of exploiting Mutai’s mistake to speed past and claim an unlikely victory, he stayed behind and, using gestures, guided the Kenyan to the line and let him cross first."  Simply wonderful.  

The Oscars

It is Oscar time once again and here are my predictions for this year's awards.  The problem with the Oscars, much like any awards ceremony, it subjectivity and politics.  For instance, the Best picture category expanded to 10 movies entirely because of the snubbing of The Dark Knight, now the Academy has decided up to 10 movies can be nominated and this year only 9 got the nod, snubbing The Dark Knight Rises.  Now you can argue with me on whether or not Rises truly is a snub, because movies like The Master, Moonrise Kingdom, and small budget Safety Not Guaranteed were equally as good, but it is ironic to find a category snub the big brother of a movie, that made the category expand.  

For each of these categories I will predict who I think will win and who the Academy should pick, rarely do they match up in any given year.

Best Picture

The Nominees are:  Amour, Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Django Unchained, Les Miserables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty.  

The Academy Should Pick:  Argo

The Winner Is..:  Argo

This year there is no definite winner for best picture.  I loved Les Miz, but the critics hated it, so that's out.  Django was good, but not great.  The same can be said for most of the movies in this category.  However there are three standouts:  Argo, Lincoln, and Life of Pi.  I will go into Life of Pi in other categories but I think this is a race between Argo and Lincoln.  They snubbed Ben Affleck from best director so they might make it up to him.  Originally I picked Lincoln to win this category, but I came to an overall consensus on how I feel about both films.  Lincoln has moments, moments that are better than any other moments or scenes in movies this year, but overall Argo has a consistency and accuracy to the plot that makes me believe that it should and will win the Oscar.  Much like previous winning movies like Crash or Slumdog Millionaire, Argo is driven entirely by brilliant casting and it is the ensemble that deserves to be recognized.  I hope Argo wins, although if Lincoln were to take home the top prize, I wouldn't complain.  

Best Actor

The Nominees are:  Daniel Day-Lewis, Bradley Cooper, Hugh Jackman, Joaquin Phoenix, Denzel Washington.

The Academy Should Pick: Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln

The Winner Is..:  Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln

This isn't a competition at all.  Lewis gives, what in my opinion, is his best performance of his illustrious career.  He is quite possibly the greatest modern actor, and in the top five for greatest actors ever.  The other four candidates in this category give solid performances, but as with This is Spinal Tap, Lewis is an 11 out of 10.  On a side note, John Hawkes was robbed for not getting a nomination.

Best Actress

The Nominees are:  Jessica Chastain, Jennifer Lawrence, Emmanuelle Riva, Quvenzhane Wallis, Naomi Watts.

The Academy Should Pick: Emmanuelle Riva for Amour

The Winner Is..:  Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook.

I have a crush on Jennifer Lawrence, but even that crush is not enough for me to think she was great in Playbook; I'm not drinking that Kool-aid.  Nor will I drink it for Jessica Chastain.  I thought she was fine, but really there was very little "acting" done in that role.  Look angry, have no facial emotions.  Good work, but not great.  Watts has about the same performance and Wallis is great at being a kid.  Riva is the only one here who truly deserves this award, but it will go to one of the J's.  

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

The Nominees are:  Tommy Lee Jones, Alan Arkin, Robert De Niro, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Christoph Waltz

The Academy Should Pick: Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln 

The Winner Is..:  Robert De Niro for Playbook.  

This is a very interesting category because for Waltz and Hoffman, I think they carried their movies.  For De Niro, this is something we have never seen from him.  Arkin is hilarious.  And Jones is down right historic.  I'd have no problem with any of these people winning, although I think Waltz as Hans Landa was much better.  I think Tommy Lee Jones gives a subtle, controlled, un-Tommy Lee Jones movie, captivating performance.  He or Hoffman would do well to win here.  But the Academy will give the award to De Niro and I'll be pissed cause Jones got screwed.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

The Nominees are:  Amy Adams, Sally Field, Anne Hathaway, Helen Hunt, Jacki Weaver.

The Academy Should Pick: Anne Hathaway for Les Miz.

The Winner Is..:  Anne Hathaway for Les Miz.

Normally I have a problem with giving an Academy Award for just one scene, one song, but this year I make an exception.  Top five greatest moments in movie musical theatre history, I dreamed a dream, takes on a whole new message with Hathaway.  Helen Hunt was also superb in an underrated movie, but the other three have no business in this category this year.  

Best Director

The Nominees are:  Steven Spielberg, David O Russell, Ang Lee, Benh Zeitlin, Michael Haneke

The Academy Should Pick: Ben Affleck for Argo

The Winner Is..:  Steven Spielberg for Lincoln.  

Hands down Ben Affleck gave the directing performance of a lifetime, but he was snubbed, so we go with Spielberg for his ten year+ gamble and determination.  Ang Lee also deserves to be here for taking an impossible to film book and breaking the odds.

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Nominees are:  Argo, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook

The Academy Should Pick: Tony Kushner for Lincoln

The Winner Is..:  I'm hoping for Tony Kushner for Lincoln.  

This is a worrisome pick because the odds on favorite is Argo and Life of Pi is a brilliant work, as I said, turning an impossible to film book into a brilliant screenplay.  But I have to go with my heart and my gut.  Kushner is one of the greatest living playwrights (Angels in America) and he worked on this script for multiple years.  Think about all the dialogue in this movie, there is no evidence of who said what, so Kushner essentially re-created history.  Brilliant.

Best Original Screenplay

The Nominees are:  Amour, Django Unchained, Flight, Moonrise Kingdom, Zero Dark Thirty

The Academy Should Pick: Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola for Moonrise Kingdom

The Winner Is..:  Quentin Tarantino For Django Unchained

I'm actually a Quentin Tarantino fan.  But I was not a massive fan of Django Unchained.  I thought it was good but certainly not as good as Inglorious Basterds.  On the other hand, Moonrise Kingdom deserved an Oscar nod for best picture but fell into the comedy junk box.  Most people love Rushmore and Tenenbaums but I think this is a wonderful masterpiece.  The relationship between the two young students is really wonderful and it sparks from the story.  Django wins.  Moonrise Kingdom is a comedy.  

Best Cinematography

The Nominees are:  Anna Karenina, Django Unchained, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Skyfall

The Academy Should Pick: Life of Pi

The Winner Is..: Claudio Miranda for Life of Pi

Much like the best actor category this is a lock.  I can't explain this other than to say go and watch the movie and you will understand.  

Best Animated Feature Film

The Nominees are:  Wreck-It Ralph, Brave, Frankenweenie, The Pirates! Band of Pirates. ParaNorman

The Academy Should Pick: The Pirates! Band of Pirates

The Winner Is..:  *Wreck-It Ralph

A difficult category.  Will the Academy go with the box office favorite Brave or ParaNorman, both which I found lacking in plot and character development.  Frankenweenie is not my type of movie, but it is a wonderful ode to 50's horror classics in a modern day kids comedy.  The underrated movie of the year is Pirates!  from the studio that brought you Wallace and Gromit.  But what I believe is a great movie, very smart and funny, is Wreck-It Ralph, and I hope it takes home the top prize.

Best Documentary Feature Film

The Nominees are:  Searching for Sugar Man, The Invisible War, How to Survive a Plague, The Gatekeepers, 5 Broken Cameras

The Academy Should Pick: 5 Broken Cameras

The Winner Is..:  Searching for Sugar Man

For the longest time I thought Sugar Man was not just a great doc, but a wonderful movie and one of the best of the year.  That is, until I saw 5 Broken Cameras.  This is truly a wonderful, incredibly depressing documentary masterpiece.  The scene where the camera breaks when we watch the bullet fly into the lens and save the man's life is something extraordinary.  

Best Foreign Film

The Nominees are:  Amour, Kon-Tiki, No, A Royal Affair, War Witch

The Academy Should Pick: No

The Winner Is..:  Amour

Amour is going to win.  It's a lock.  But if you get the chance go and see the Chilean movie, No.  It stars Gael Garcia Bernal and looks at the Augusto Pinochet reign of terror in Chile and the ingenious way that they removed him from power.

Best Costume Design

The Nominees are:  Anna Karenina, Les Miserables, Lincoln, Mirror Mirror, Snow White and the Huntsman

The Academy Should Pick: Les Miserables

The Winner Is..:  Anna Karenina

I know nothing about costume design, but I liked the design in Les Miz, but Karenina was very historically accurate.

Best Makeup/Hair Design

The Nominees are:  Hitchcock, The Hobbit, Les Miserables

The Academy Should Pick: I don't care

The Winner Is..:  I don't care; Les Miserables

I could care less about this category, not because I dislike it, but because Cloud Atlas should have won this.

Best Music Score

The Nominees are:  Anna Karenina, Argo, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Skyfall

The Academy Should Pick: Life of Pi or Argo

The Winner Is..:  Argo

The Favorite is Life of Pi but I am a fan of Argo and Alexandre Desplat, and I think he managed to keep what could have sounded rather cheesy, and made it rather deep and important.

Best Original Song

The Nominees are:  Chasing Ice, Ted, Life of Pi, Skyfall, Les Miserables

The Academy Should Pick: This is a dumb category when it allows "Ted" (Which I liked) to be an Academy Nominated Movie

The Winner Is..:  Skyfall from Skyfall by Adele

I don't care.  Les Miserables is pandering by creating a song just for this category and Skyfall is a really dumb song.  But it is still Adele and she is one of the most amazing voices ever.

Best Documentary Short

The Nominees are:  Inocente, Kings Point, Mondays at Racine, Open Heart, Redemption

The Academy Should Pick: No idea

The Winner Is..:  Open Heart

I know nothing about this category, but Open Heart  is a nice name.

Best Animated Short

The Nominees are:  Adam and Dog, Fresh Guacamole, Head over Heels, Maggie Simpson..., Paperman

The Academy Should Pick:  Who has time to watch these, not Maggie Simpson.

The Winner Is..:  Adam and Dog

I saw Paperman and liked it, but I also saw Adam and Dog and because it isn't called Adam and "the" Dog, I'll pick it.

Best Live Action Short

The Nominees are:  Asad, Buzkashi Boys, Curfew, Death of a Shadow, Henry

The Academy Should Pick: Buzkashi Boys

The Winner Is..:  Buzkashi Boys

This is a short that I hope everyone gets a chance to see.  It's about two kids in Afghanistan and a very brutal national sport.  

Best Film Editing

The Nominees are:  Argo, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook, Zero Dark Thirty

The Academy Should Pick: Argo or Zero Dark Thirty

The Winner Is..:  Argo

Argo was well edited.

Best Production Design

The Nominees are:  Anna Karenina, The Hobbit, Les Miserables, Life of Pi, Lincoln

The Academy Should Pick: Life of Pi

The Winner Is..:  Les Miserables 

Sure

Best Sound Editing

The Nominees are:  Argo, Life of Pi, Django Unchained, Skyfall, Zero Dark Thirty

The Academy Should Pick: Argo or Life of Pi

The Winner Is..:  Skyfall

How the hell should I know.

Best Sound Mixing

The Nominees are:  Argo, Les Miserables, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Skyfall

The Academy Should Pick: Les Miserables

The Winner Is..:  Les Miserables

This one I do know a little about.  The work the sound team did on Les Miserables was brilliant.  Tom Hooper deserved a special award for what he did on the movie and mark my words live singing is going to be the new thing in Movie Musicals, but the sound department did a brilliant job mixing the sound within the scene.  

Best Special Effects

The Nominees are:  The Hobbit, Life of Pi, The Avengers, Prometheus, Snow White and the Huntsman

The Academy Should Pick: The Avengers

The Winner Is..:  Life of Pi

I said it in Cinematography, Life of Pi looks amazing, but why can't the blockbuster of the year win one?

Jade

a poem

You think you've moved on,

but you never really do,

you cry in your sleep,

and haven't got a clue,

your mind is a mess,

your heart is as well,

your head is on fire,

and there's no one to tell,

of the ache in your soul,

of the break in your heart,

of the death of desire,

And the pain off the chart.

You remember her face,

and her beautiful eyes,

Her smile always did show,

a most devious disguise.

Her voice did remind,

of the home you once lost,

with the need of dear friends,

and the hurt it did cost.  

Her hair was the shade,

of the East setting sun,

it sat on the top,

like a form fitted bun.

But it isn't her body,

at all you do miss,

it's the smallest of things,

like a hug, or a kiss.

It's the way every night,

that she made you feel,

like the world was alright,

and that pain wasn't real.

But her hair and her face,

and those beautiful eyes,

are gone from your world,

my how time flies.

The memories begin,

to fade like the wind,

but the feelings remain,

strong never thinned.

Now you think you've moved on,

but you never really do,

you cry in your sleep,

and haven't got a clue,

that she was the one,

so why did you lie,

now forever is gone,

your pearl in the sky.

Super Bowl "Predictions"

Those who know me know that I enjoy gambling and betting.  Enjoy is the correct word, not obsessed.  I never bet more than $30 or $40 and usually I enjoy a good gentlemen's bet with an added incentive of beer, pizza, or something to do with embarrassment.  With that in mind, today should be one of my favorite days of the year even though the Packers will be watching the game on TV.  Unfortunately, this is an abnormal year because I will be at work for the better part of the first half, but that still doesn't keep me from making a few wagers, five to be exact.  A couple on winner/loser, one on spread, one on MVP, and a final bet on the coin toss.  Yes, I bet on the coin toss.  And I will tell you why.  Here are my 10 (or so) predictions for the Superbowl.

11.  The first one doesn't count on the list because it has partially already happened and it is kind of a given.  This will be one of the greatest weekends in the history of the Harbaugh family.  At the end of the day one of the kids will win and last night the Harbaugh's brother in law upset the number 1 team in the Nation.  Yes, their brother-in-law is in fact Tom Crean, the coach of the Indiana Basketball Hoosiers (#3), who took out top ranked opponent Michigan last night.  So the Harbaugh's will walk away from the weekend with two of the biggest wins, one 'a tad' bigger than the other, and the loser of the family will only be able to rest of his AFC or NFC Championship banner.

10.  One of my favorite prop bets from each Super Bowl.  The Coin Toss.  Now there are three different ways you can bet on this.  Normally it would be heads or tails, but I believe in the Super Bowl, the coin merely has pictures of each teams logo on either side.  So you can bet on who wins, will the team that wins the coin toss win the game, and will the team that wins the toss choose offense or defense.  Now all of this might sound a bit silly, but this is sadly a real bet, one that will have over $100,000,000 on the line.  Get that 100 million.  Take that recession.  So with my prediction I will say that the Ravens "team of destiny" will win the toss.

9.  Will Beyonce be joined on stage by Jay Z during the Half time Show (odds.  Yes: 11/10, No: 2/3)  Yes, this is in fact a bet.  Although it isn't the craziest one involving Beyonce.  That award goes to the Will Beyonce's hair be curly/crimped or straight at the beginning of the Super Bowl Halftime Show.  (Curly/Crimped: Even)  Now this is a difficult prediction to make.  If the game were next year it would be a no brainer and you could add in Alicia Keys.  The game is being played in NY so of course we would get a rendition of Empire State of Mind.  However the game is in New Orleans.  We know we are going to get Single Ladies.  Perhaps we will get a surprise song by all of Destiny's Child.  But you know she will have someone else in her act.  I am going to go with the odds and say yes we will get Jay Z, either for Crazy in Love or Deja Vu.  That could bump off Single Ladies and save my ears the extra pain.

8.  The list of crazy Prop Bets is astounding with the color of gatorade, who Obama will pick, and many different bets on the number of times "Harbaugh" "Harbowl" or "Jack Harbaugh" will be mentioned.  But perhaps my favorite crazy bet is on the number of Tweets per second.  With the popularity of Twitter the over/under is 17,000.  Which means at some point in the game 17,000 tweets will be sent at the same time.  With all the wacky and weird stuff going on in the game, you have to go with the over.

Yea that Guy  MVP

7.  Super Bowl MVP.  Now the two Qbs have the best odds with Flacco at 11/4 and Kaepernick at 7/4 but I am going to predict a couple of sleepers.  Ray Lewis might be a favorite pick at 7/1 or Ray Rice at 10/1 but I am going to go with the two TEs.  Vernon Davis at 18/1 or Dennis Pitta at 40/1.  In order for the Ravens to win Pitta is going to have to go off, so I think a two touchdown, 100 yard game isn't out of the question.  Go with Pitta with such great odds.

6.  A Beer Ad will NOT be the best commercial.  So many years the beer companies come up with new inventive ways to show you that Bud Light really does taste better or different from Budweiser.  This year, expect an upset.  I'm thinking either Pizza or Car, but long odds at Insurance.  Oh and I'm taking the over on more than 15 music artists featured in ads.  Favorite Ad

5.  Best Movie Trailer Commercial.  No extra gimmicks or jokes.  Flat out and simple, Man of Steel has the best trailer.  Iron Man 3 will show too much, World War Z looks too CGI-ed, and I worry about Star Trek giving the plot away.  

4.  Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first.  (Odds.  Teammates:  5/4; God: 5/2; Coach: 12/1; Family: 12/1; Owner: 15/1; No One: 9/4)  I definitely understand Teammates but with players like Ray Lewis, you have to go with God.  Who knew God is not the Odds on favorite.  If you are looking for an upset, I'd go with Coach at 12/1.  With both the brothers in the game a player might go coach first.

3.  Oh, and there is an actual game happening.  Ravens will stop Kaepernick from running.  Don't expect a Packer-Niners game.  The Ravens are far too smart and have watched the Falcons tape.  The Ravens will stop the run and the Niners will have to rely on Kaepernick's arm and Gore's legs.  As a side note.  If the Ravens really wanted to win they would allow Kaepernick to run and instead shut out the pass.  A slower running game helps the old Ravens D, although one could argue that it will wear them down.  But the Packer game was an anomaly.  Usually Kaepernick uses the Pistol to scramble, not flat out run.  I'd worry more about his arm, then his legs.

2.  Number 2 is a double, because one is a statement, and true.  Randy Moss is an Idiot.  When Moss came out this week and declared himself the greatest WR ever, he lost any credibility he had, which was nearly nonexistent.  Moss needs to listen to Beyonce sing Single Ladies, because both have a lot in common, both the subjects of the song and Moss don't have any rings.  He isn't even in the top 3.  I put him at number 4.  3.  Tim Brown  2. Don Hutson  1.  The immortal, Jerry Rice.

The second is This will be one of the best Super Bowl games of all time.  AKA if you are expecting a blowout, watch a Wizards game.  I expect this to come down to the fourth and less than a touchdown between the two teams and the winner is…

1.  The Winner Is…  The Ravens.   Do I buy into "the team of destiny" no, but I do buy into a team that went on the road and beat Peyton Manning and Tom Brady.  If the Ravens do as I predict and shut down the run, I like the Ravens running attack better.  Pierce and Rice against Gore.  I also trust Anquan Bolden and Torrey Smith more than Randy Moss and Michael Crabtree any day of the week.  Ed Reed picks up an interception, Lewis pulls a couple of good plays, Tucker makes the perfect field goal.  Ravens 27 - Niners 24 and I win a chunk of change, beer, and Capitol Tickets.