The Best Movies of 2020*

There must be a cut-off date for writing a year-end review, however the standard end of the year deadline has never quite worked for me.  While the Academy Awards is as fraught as a political convention, using the ceremony to delineate completion of a review works well.  Luckily for me, the Awards were pushed back into late April, which gave me a chance to catch-up.  The issue with writing a year-end review of the best films is that the bulk of those films aren’t released to the public until the following year.  In the past, I’ve tried to watch as many films as possible quickly to release my review as close to January first as possible, but that’s like trying to eat sushi, hamburgers, and steak all in the same meal.  Films are meant to be savored, which is why I waited until April.  I could’ve chalked it up to the Pandemic taking away all meaningful understanding of time, but blaming the film industry is far more satisfying.  

Speaking of the film industry, I write this review while the industry sits on a precipice (although some may argue it’s already fallen into the ravine).  The pandemic has caused the industry to shift from theaters to streaming, an inevitability made present and real by circumstances.  With the grandeur of the cinema lost as the scope and scale diminished, many companies pushed their big-budget productions to the future.  For movie lovers like myself, this gave smaller-budget projects the chance for some limelight, and while some succeeded, the entire experience was diminished, because culturally we saw behind the curtain of the film industry and found just a man not a wizard.  Mid-level budget movies aren’t being made anymore.  Films with bite and consequence and political scope are either limited or scrubbed out.  A great example came in this year’s award-nominated Judas and the Black Messiah.  A film littered with brilliant acting and limited writing.  A film about the Black Panthers that tells the audience literally nothing about the Black Panthers.  Whether it was the studio system or the artists themselves it’s purely semantics, because it all ends up the same.  The marrow of the powerful version of this film was sucked out and the shell of a good movie, but not a great one remained.  As we move back into the theaters, I fear a world of IP and franchise is all we will be left with; a world where entertaining superhero movies neglect story in place of spectacle.  This cinematic world was in the tea leaves for a long time, I just failed to read them correctly. As we return to film production, I pray there is still room for artists to make art unshackled from corporate restraint.  Even if those movies fall few and far in between, they will still be supported by film goers like myself.  

On a personal note, movies were a godsend for me during the Pandemic.  My friends and I created weekly movie groups that watched films and discussed them over zoom (a practice I hope to continue into the future).  Films brought stability to my life, one of the few things that was able to successfully do so.  I’m grateful for this.  Since many of those friends are the ones that read this review, I decided to streamline my rather loquacious entry.  I blocked my top fifteen into four different categories and decided to only pontificate on the top five.  Without further ado, I give you my Top Fifteen Films of 2020 (plus a few months in 2021).  

Category 1: Well Made, but Flawed 

Movies: (15) The Half of It, (14) Da 5 Bloods, (13) One Night in Miami, (12) Judas & the Black Messiah, (11) Mank, (10) Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom 

The first category is filled with movies that fulfilled many checkboxes, but failed to get a mark in all of them.  The Half of It is a beautiful, coming-of-age LGBTQ film that just lacked bite, whereas Da 5 Bloods was all bite and bark without enough coherence.  Both One Night in Miami and Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom fell prey to the same pitfalls - a play failing to subvert formula and become a full-fledged movie.  Judas and Mank both struggled in the screenplay department.  However, these weaknesses are only blemishes on otherwise good artistic endeavors.  In the case of four of them, we are given four of the best acting performances of the year: Chadwick Boseman (Ma Rainey), Daniel Kaluuya (Judas), Kingsley Ben-Adir (Miami), & the criminally overlooked Delroy Lindo (Bloods).  There weren’t four better performances this year than these four great actors.  For me, Kaluuya is the stand out performance of the year as the hauntingly beautiful portrayal of Fred Hampton.  Both The Half of It and Mank shine in the directing department.  The Half of It’s Alice Wu and the great David Fincher excel with their eyes behind their respective cameras, the only thing that enhances Mank above The Half of It is the brilliant, yet understated cinematography of Erik Messerschmidt.  

Category 2: What a Joy! 

Movies: (9) The Old Guard, (8) The Vast of Night, (7) Palm Springs, (6) Tenet 

“What a Joy” encompasses four films which may have individual problems, but were overlooked due to their pure enjoyment factors.  The Old Guard was my action movie for the year.  Charlize Theron is one of the best living actresses because she brings gravitas to every performance even when she’s just an axe-wielding super soldier with immortality.  The Vast of Night is a brilliant little low-budget science-fiction movie.  Where Ma Rainey and Miami fall short in their play to screen adaptations, The Vast of Night manages to shoot a film like individual moments of a play.  Palm Springs was my comedy of the year and should’ve found Cristin Milioti with an award nomination.  It’s a smart take on time loops stuck firmly inside of a romantic comedy and it’s extremely re-watchable.  Finally, there’s Tenet.  I won’t begrudge you if you didn’t like Tenet.  Much like other Christopher Nolan movies, you either go for his style or you don’t (I hated Interstellar).  Tenet worked on me.  The set pieces are phenomenal and the concepts, while difficult to understand, are intriguing, but the movie works because of the charisma of its leads.  John David Washington and Robert Pattinson show what’s possible if James Bond had a partner.  

Category 3:  The Great Films of 2020

Movies: (5) Small Axe: Mangrove, (4) Another Round, (3) David Byrne’s American Utopia, (2) Nomadland 

(5).  Small Axe: Mangrove 

Any of the compendium of five films within the Small Axe cannon constructed by the brilliant Steven McQueen could easily find a spot on this list.  Lover’s Rock is another that I thoroughly enjoyed, but Mangrove is catnip for me.  A drama about civil rights history that ends in a courtroom.  Mangrove is everything The Trial of the Chicago 7 is not.  As a great lover of all things Aaron Sorkin, Chicago 7 really didn’t work for me and concluded in a heap of liberal wet dreams.  Mangrove is a far superior film that expertly crafts a character narrative into a far larger story.  Shaun Parks as Frank Chrichlow gives one of the top five performances of the year and the movie sings from an accomplished and professional ensemble.  Mangrove is a history that feels all too familiar, but is little seen by American audiences.  I would encourage watching all of Small Axe, but specifically singling out Mangrove.  

(4).  Another Round 
    Americans telegraph their films too much and in doing so, they limit the imaginations of their audiences.  It feels like American audiences are too stupid to see the forest beyond the trees, so American filmmakers have to spell out consequences and concerns.  This isn’t the case with Another Round, Thomas Vinterburg’s brilliant look at alcohol.  After a birthday party, four friends who work at a Danish prep school decide to become working alcoholics.  They drink during the day and stay sober at night to see if it will improve their day jobs.  This film wouldn’t work in America.  It would take a hard-line stance and the last thirty minutes would be a descent into darkness.  Instead, the ending of Another Round is the best ending of the year.  This movie shows you all the different sides of alcohol and potentially alcoholism without taking a narrative political stance.  It’s led by the incomparable Mads Mikkelsen, whose slow-burning firecracker of a performance shows why he continues to be one of the most underrated actors on the planet.  His scene in the teacher’s lounge is the funniest of the year and caused me to rewind and play it over and over again.  

(3).  David Byrne’s American Utopia 

David Byrne stands onstage pointing to a prop of the human brain.  He’s dressed in a grey velvet suit and wears no shoes.  He sings, “Here is an area of great confusion.  Here is a section that’s extremely precise.  And here is an area that needs attention.  Here is a connection with the opposite side.”  Before watching American Utopia, I didn’t have a connection with David Byrne, sure, I’ve listened to a handful of popular Talking Heads songs, but they’ve never been a major part of my musical lexicon.  I thought watching this “movie” would be a good way to pass two hours while I did other work on my computer.  Instead, I sat mesmerized by the most joyous expression of the human experience.  I loved this film, and yes, it really is a film.  The reigns of the camera were handed off to Spike Lee and this, combined with Da 5 Bloods, proves that Lee is singular in his craft.  He uses the camera to shift the perspective of this Broadway show and truly turn it into a cinematic adventure.  American Utopia is a direct connection to the American soul and the calling card of justice in the form of Hell You Talmbout should be shouted from the rooftops as we continue to search for the colors of the American dream.  

(2).  Nomadland 

For some, Nomadland fails to reap the political and social ramifications that force people into the lives of the nomad.  For others, the movie isn’t enough of a story to transcend its docu-drama leanings.  For me, it spoke to my heart and trapped me in a longing for the great unknown.  This is a beautiful film about suffering through tragedy and seeking refuge in the world - the actual real world.  Criticisms about this film gloss over the celebration of a life that is too long forgotten in this country.  And unlike many American films, Chloé Zhao’s understated directing allows for a limitless viewing of societal issues rather than a narrow, forced, and focused one.  This movie brought me to tears with Francis McDormand giving the performance of a lifetime.  She is one of our greatest American actresses and should be lauded for her deeply, soulful role as Fern.  Nomadland finds its beauty in the often-overlooked, the heard but not really seen.  In a year like we’ve just had, I can’t think of anything better to focus on.  

Category 4:  The Masterpiece 

Movies: (1) Portrait of a Lady on Fire 

(1). Portrait of a Lady of Fire

Technically, Portrait of a Lady on Fire was released in 2019, but due to a limited release, I wasn’t able to see it until it reached Hulu.  Exactly one year ago today, I watched Portrait and it has stayed with me everyday 365.  It’s a master stroke created by one of France’s most striking minimalist directors, Céline Sciamma.  The movie is a trance-like worship of the female gaze.  It’s easy to get lost in Sciamma’s cinematic eye and as you follow a common plot, you realize you are not watching a common film.  Sciamma is entirely in control of her artistic aesthetic.  She weaves the camera around two magnetic performances by Noémie Merlant and Adèle Haenel.  In a film devoid of men, we are left without scandal and unnecessary exposition.  What unfolds is a real love that burns with desire.  It leaps off the screen and infects the heart of the film goer turned cinematic explorer.  Portrait is unlike any film I’ve seen in the past decade.  It’s unique minimalism allows the audience to become ensorcelled in Adèle Haenel’s eyes.  This movie earns my strongest recommendation as not just the best film of the year, but as one of the top films of the century.  

The Best Movies of 2019

The time has come for my year-end review in movies and I’m writing that review at the end of March…in 2020…for 2019 films.  Every December, my schedule increases at the exact time when all the best films are released, so I figured the extra time would allow me to see more of them.  I was wrong.  Despite catching up on many forgotten films from the past year, there’s never enough time in the winter to accomplish everything.  This list will be missing a few movies that based on their subject matter and publicized artistry, I suspect could have weaseled their way into the top ten.  Films like Scorsese’s Netflix marathon The Irishman and Sciamma’s intimate character portrayal in Portrait of a Lady on Fire.  Perhaps they will be on my 2020 list, but I know they won’t be - why?  Because for some reason I continue to be stuck in the mold of trying to calculate movies by year.  

The Academy Awards has completely indoctrinated me.  I’ve been brainwashed into reviewing films based on an arbitrary year designation.  This cultural phenomenon to make year-end review lists makes sense considering its a time honored tradition created when writers ran out of ideas on how to craft Christmas articles.  Instead, we review and rank things.  This tradition has become extremely toxic.  The biggest problem with the Academy Awards, other than the fact that it’s more political than an American election cycle, is that it creates binary arguments.  We tear down movies that would otherwise be favorites because we think there are films that should be deemed as “the best.”  In the process, we lose sight of a lot of the artistry that goes into the making of the films.  The Shape of Water isn’t a bad film - in fact, I considered it a worthy nominee - but will it stand the test of time the same way as something like Dunkirk?  Shakespeare in Love is actually a really well-crafted tale, but it’s no Saving Private Ryan, so as the history of cinema evolves we tear down Shakespeare in Love when really we should celebrate it.  This year, 1917 received a lot of criticism, when really it deserves a tremendous amount of praise (you’ll find it on my list).  Can’t we celebrate films without denigrating other ones?  I used to be a much more pessimistic movie goer, always looking for a film’s faults.  Now, I try to appreciate all the work that went into crafting it and only truly criticize a film if it felt like its artistic authors didn’t care.  With all of that in mind, let’s celebrate some films!

A few honorable mentions:

15.  The Art of Self-Defense: A wonderful little dark comedy - thankful that my best friend, Braden, made me celebrate my birthday.  

14.  Long Shot:  Smart comedies are hard to find - especially comedies that play with gender stereotypical tropes.  Charlize Theron is insanely funny.  

13.  Uncut Gems:  While intensely disturbing and disruptive, this chaotic film proves that the Safdie brothers will be working for a very long time in the business.  

12.  Blinded by the Light: Such a delightful film.  It carries both weight and soul as it weaves its way in and out of two of my favorite things: Coming of Age stories based in desire and The Boss, Bruce Springsteen.  No film in any year will ever beat out the importance of The Boss in my life.  

11.  Knives Out: A really great take on modernizing the Agatha Christie model.  I look forward to rewatching this film without the pretext of looking for the twist.  

10.  Booksmart 

Many have compared Booksmart to Superbad in calling the film the modern, female version of the latter.  I think this takes a reductive view on the movie.  While Superbad is a funny film, Booksmart, much like the title implies, is a very smart film.  It interweaves exposition with character development; it connects metaphor and theme with smart storytelling.  Booksmart is an excellent inductee into the coming of age Hall of Fame.  In recent years previous inductees have included, Lady Bird, Moonlight, An Education, and Juno.  In much the same way Juno charmed audiences with its slangy language, Booksmart articulates how teenagers think and how they feel when they think.  Booksmart is a fun joyride through the heartbreak at the end of adolescence.  

9.  Jojo Rabbit 

Jojo Rabbit, a film marketed as a satire against hate, came along at an important moment in both cinema and American politics.  It took a different approach in trying to answer the questions of our times by infusing humor into a darkened climate and culture.  I think the movie best succeeds when it dives head long into either the main character arcs or the dark comedy.  A lot of the surface level humor is funny, but doesn’t leave a lasting impression.  However, scenes like Stephen Merchant as a Gestapo head officer, understand both the gravitas and the injection of humor inside of an extremely darkly comedic scene. 

8.  Avengers: Endgame 

Endgame was just a good time at the movie theatre.  In a time and age, when so many cultural cinematic events fail to live up to their high expectations (Game of Thrones, Star Wars, The Hobbit), Endgame delivers a suitable end to ten years worth of stories.  It completed the story arcs of both Captain America and Iron Man in ways that lived up to the grandeur of their characters.  

7.  American Factory  

American Factory was my final movie watching experience for this list and it was a great way to end.  This award-winning documentary tells the story of a Chinese company coming to save the day - until the day actually arrives.  After a shuttered General Motors plant in Moraine, just outside of Dayton, Ohio stops production following the recession, the former employees are struggling to survive. In steps Fuyao to create a new space for jobs and an improved economy - but it comes at a price.  It’s the Chinese way or the highway.  What follows is an introspective look at the differences between Chinese factory workers and American factory workers.  This isn’t a film with villains, but rather a culture clash between people failing to communicate.  In our current environment, American Factory is a must-watch film and one of the most important documentaries around. 

6.  Toy Story 4   

When they announced a fourth installment of Toy Story, I figured it was a cash-grab and was hesitant to watch it.  I’m very thankful I got over that preconceived notion.  I can count on two hands the number of films that have legitimately made me openly cry - Toy Story 4 is one of those movies.  In a touching send-off to a twenty-five year character arc, Woody ‘finds’ himself and in doing so,  helped the audience feel a little less lost.  This movie helped me make up my mind about switching career paths and going to get a second masters.  Years later, I will get to tell my kids that I became a High School Counselor in part because of an animated toy cowboy in search of a home.  

5.  The Peanut Butter Falcon 

Shia Labeouf and Dakota Johnson might be eccentric people to say the least, but they sure are fascinating to watch on screen.  The Peanut Butter Falcon is a feel-good, warm apple pie movie with an extra dash of brutality.  A simple story that matches a down-syndrome boy from an assisted-living home with a fisherman on the run and a social worker all in search of a backwoods version of a WWE wrestler.  Audiences will notice connections to films like 2012’s Mud, but where that veers into noir, Falcon veers into the heartstrings.  LaBeouf is the perfect actor to pair with Zach Gottsagen, the Down-Syndrome actor who plays the lead.  If you’re looking for a heartwarming film with a little bit of an edge, Falcon is the movie for you.  

4.  Official Secrets 

The best movie on this list that I bet almost no one else has seen.  Official Secrets is director Gavin Hood’s second consecutive film where he tackles systematic issues within the British political system.  The first film, Eye in the Sky made my top ten movies of the decade list and Official Secrets is an excellent vehicle to showcase Hood’s abilities.  The film is a straightforward docudrama about Whistleblower Katharine Gun, who tried to warn the British public about the illegal actions of members of the UN in the Invasion of Iraq.  The film takes a linear path from the initial action taken by Gun, to the Press, to the blowback and trial.  This isn’t a film that’s in anyway inventive in terms of production - it’s just a really good story, a really important story, and one that’s well-acted especially by Matt Smith, Ralph Fiennes, and Kiera Knightley as Katharine Gun.  

3.  1917  

There’s very little I can say that will add to the discourse surrounding 1917.  There are plenty of people who think the central conceit of a “one-shot” or a cut together to look like “one-shot” concept makes the film a flash in the pan.  I’m not one of those people.  One shot movies like 2015’s Victoria or the opening of the Bond film, Spectre are catnip for me.  I thought 1917 was a feat of technical genius and one of the most beautifully captured films of my lifetime.  Cinematographer Roger Deakins is one of the greatest to ever hold that title and he expertly executes this heart-pounding race.  One of the lost elements in the conversation surrounding 1917’s technical achievement is the great work done by George MacKay in the lead role.  MacKay does wonderful body acting paired with very little dialogue; his face is captivating like watching a lost child in a sea of faces.  

2.  Little Women 

Little Women was one of the best times I’ve ever had at the movie theatre.  Greta Gerwig, in just two films, has cemented herself as one of the best directors working today.  No matter what she makes going forward, I will be there on opening night.  Gerwig’s Little Women is like watching a Aaron Sorkin script inside of a period dramedy.  It’s engrossing and impeccably well-acted.  The chemistry built between Laurie and Jo (Chalamet and Ronan) is electrifying, but is outdone by the chemistry built between all four sisters.  Ronan continues to make her claim as the new Meryl Streep, but the best performance of the film and of the year goes to the amazing Florence Pugh.  I first saw Pugh in 2016’s Lady Macbeth and sang her praises at the time.  However, she outdoes that performance by leaps and bounds in Little Women by making one of the novel’s least interesting characters and turning Amy into one of the film’s most captivating characters.  Amy’s scene with Laurie, better known as the Marriage is an Economic Proposition scene is the best of the film.  Little Women is one of the most delightfully original takes on a classic to ever arrive in the cinema.  

1.  Parasite     

I sat in an empty theater for ten minutes until I called my best friend.  I said,  “It feels like a bomb just went off in my head,” and then I exited out of the theater into a very different world than the one I was in previously.  Far too many films get bogged down in theme and allegory and in trying to prove their message, they forget to tell a complete story.  Parasite weaves in between these two paths to provide the best film (perhaps) ever made on income inequality and simultaneously a brilliant thriller.  Once the comedy of errors beginning takes a turn, you won’t know what hit you.  Bong Joon Ho is a master and he perfectly cast an ensemble that knows how to exact every ounce of his artistic palette.  I’ve never seen a film quite as uniquely captivating as Parasite.  The film is culturally urgent while also connecting Karl Marx with Alfred Hitchcock.  Bravo, Parasite, bravo.  

The Four Most Important Films of the Decade

“A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike.  And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless.  We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”  When John Steinbeck penned those words in the early 1960’s, he was constructing an introduction for his own understanding of the trip that took a small dog and his friend around the country.  As the years go by, those words continue to ring true and have been penned in multiple stories, in multiple languages, for multiple reasons.  For me, they represent a good mantra: Planning is not useless, but when your plans fall apart, go with the flow and pick yourself back up.  This has been a great lesson for my life.  If you told me back in 2010 where I would end up at the end of the decade, I would’ve admitted you into an asylum.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would return to Iowa, let alone five times.  Never did I imagine myself in a classroom, let alone at the head of it.

The bulk of my big life experiences have lived inside of this past decade.  Graduating from college, Gabby Giffords, coaching speech, moving, attending grad school, graduating, teaching, coaching speech again, realizing I was an addict, accepting that disease, applying for grad school again, directing over sixty shows, confronting the most difficult experiences of my life, and finding true hope in ordinary moments.  So much has fit into just ten years that it’s hard to encapsulate them on paper.  They were lived in, experienced and now they flit away like dust in the wind, memories of an escaped life.  But some memories last longer than others.  

Art and cinema have served me as lenses into my creative and professional life; this decade allowed me to focus them, to wield my creativity in ways previously only thought before as dreams.  I make art and I watch film.  Both are essential in my creative journey.  Art allows me to watch more film and the ideas of film allow me to make more art.  They exist in a perfect symbiotic relationship.  I’m blessed to have both of them.  As the decade drew to a close, most of my favorite writers released their favorite films of the decade and while you can see my list (pictured right), it occurred to me that writing about my list wasn’t what I wanted to do.  Instead, I wanted to combine all those life experiences and all those fantastic films to talk about the four most important films I saw this decade - then I realized it wasn’t the films that made the memories important.  

After the Gabby Giffords shooting in 2011, I was a shell of a man.  The event rocked me to my core sending never-ending ripples across my soul.  But a miracle came out of that despair.  A group of local kids were struggling with their choral reading for a speech competition and I came into help.  There I met my family.  Half a year later, when I took over as coach, they were multiplied and solidified.  One of our greatest connections is our love for movies and while our tastes have always varied, we all have a clear idea of what is important to us.  Without further ado, the four most important films of the decade through the lenses of four friends from Mount Vernon, Iowa. 

1.  2011’s Hugo 

Dear god, I hate this movie.  This might be one of the rare times where a truly beloved film causes me to convulse with rage that is was even made.  For some, Hugo is a cute family picture about the beauty in movies.  For me, it’s a soul-sucking disaster from which only over-dramatic acting and convoluted plot construction emanate.  So why does it make the list?  Early on in our friendship, the boys all worked at the local Bijou movie theatre in Mount Vernon.  I, as the local resident, with far too much time on his hands spent many a night hanging out with them at the Bijou.  Most of the time we would talk or play inane word games while we waited for the movie to get out and then I would help them clean up.  In many ways, this solidified my role as the town loiterer, a moniker I take with great pride (there are plenty worse things to be known for).  Eventually, I was invited to the midnight show: a time-honored tradition where workers would screen the films for their friends.  That’s where Hugo came into play.  And while it remains a terrible film and my memories include physically rolling my eyes into the back of my skull - the times spent in that theatre were some of the best of my life.  Whether it was the time someone lost a slap bet or the time I fell asleep watching Tron Legacy, woke up long enough to sing the theme music, and fell back asleep, each moment was special.  

2.  2012’s Prometheus 

Among us, Zak is someone who takes great pride in silence in the theatre - but even he couldn’t keep his mouth shut during the atrocious Prometheus.  Without a doubt, watching this movie was the greatest theatrical going experience of my lifetime.  We all sat in the back row and enjoyed perhaps the strangest “comedy” film of the decade that went off the rails within the first fifteen minutes.  Never has a movie infuriated me the same way that Prometheus did.  Charlize Theron, just run sideways!  Why are you running straight?  And Rickon Stark, didn’t you ever watch Prometheus?  Zig-zag little man, zig-zag.  For more problems with Prometheus, look here: 

3.  2013’s This is the End 

After a tumultuous ending to a difficult first year of graduate school at VCU, I drove back to Iowa to pick up boxes for my thesis project.  I didn’t have very long, so we set up a quick double-bill movie night.  Man of Steel and This is the End.  A year earlier, Zak, Stephen, and I sat in a theatre and remarked how Man of Steel looked like it was going to be a masterpiece.  Well, Zack Snyder certainly knows how to cut a trailer together, but not how to make a movie and our first film wasn’t exactly to all of our liking.  But in the evening, after switching theaters, This is the End brought about one hell of a good time.  I remember having a tremendous headache, but fought through the pain because I was with my family and I was laughing so hard.  In many ways, the four of us are like the main characters in This is the End - accept no one is James Franco - there’s just two Seth Rogen’s.  

4.  2016’s Arrival 

Taken from a review I wrote back in 2016: “It takes a lot of me to cry in a movie theatre; it takes a lot for me to cry in general. In fact, I can count on two hands the number of times I’ve cried in five years.  By the time the film was over, I couldn’t see because my eyes were filled with tears.  This movie was a religious experience for me.  I cannot tell you why; I can’t even explain it.  It was like I was no longer in control of my emotions or my body.  For a minute, it felt like I had swapped senses.  Like I felt language and I spoke feelings.  Almost like I was inhabited by a language that transcends the ways in which we conceive that language.  As I walked out of the theatre, after nearly ten minutes of silence, I turned to my friend and said, “that’s the best movie I’ve ever seen.”  That friend was Stephen and I’m so blessed that I got to share that transported moment with him.  Stephen and I have seen many movies together.  We were touched by Spotlight, we rolled our eyes at Suicide Squad, we raced through the galaxy in The Force Awakens, he woke me up when I fell asleep during Hail, Caesar, and we shared mutual love for one of my favorites, Hell or High Water.  Some of the best creative ventures of my life have been with Stephen by my side.  From Brutus to Tony Kirby, from Twelfth Night to The Frogs.  In many ways, our friendship is a lot like Arrival.  We communicate on a level greater than normal language.  It’s love - the type of love that only friends know and understand.  

All four of us share this love.  Over the past decade, we’ve grown apart in distance but never in friendship.  Stephen lives in Des Moines as a reporter for the Des Moines Register, Brandon is the vocal music director for Central Community School District in Elkader, Zak is bartending and writing while following his dreams in New York City, and me, well I keep coaching, teaching, and living, each day a foot in front of the last.  “We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.”  Never would I have imagined to be in the place that I am today with this family by my side - but I am, and everyday of my life is better because they are with me.  I love the cinema and while I’ll keep making lists and I’ll keep over-critiquing Superman movies - these four films represent the highlights of my decade all because of the four people involved in making those experiences extraordinary. 

The Best Movies of 2018

In a year built on ingenuity, creativity, and beauty, the Academy Awards did what they always do and awarded the movie that had the best campaign.  Much like the American political system, the best movie rarely wins best picture.  Instead, we’re left with Green Book, a white person’s take on fixing the race problem in America.  As a whole, the movie isn’t bad, it isn’t great, it just is - it sits there and will sit there like many other Best Picture winners (Crash comes to mind). The dustbin of movie history is quite large and stuck up in the ends of the broom are plenty of films deemed great at the time.  I expect time will put Green Book in the broom, where it belongs.  

The Rider

As the awards season mercifully ends, I’m able to sit down and look at my own list.  Due to many snow storms filled with Redbox rentals, I was able to see sixty-five new films this year (although plenty of them were watched, as per usual, in 2019).  In years’ past, I’ve watched far too many films designated for the dustbin, but as my movie tastebuds develop, I saw plenty of wonderful, inventive, and creative works this year.  Of those sixty-five movies, I disliked only 20% (hated only 10%).  In fact, nearly half, 30 out of 65, were movies that easily could have made my list.  Films like First Reformed, Support the Girls, Crazy Rich Asians, and The Rider all took the artistic craft in new directions, bringing to the screen stories we’ve never seen before from differing racial, economic, and religious backgrounds.  While I don’t think 2018 was one of the all-time great years for film, it was a damn good one, with plenty more worthwhile trips to the theatre than wastes of time.  With that being said, I present my Top 15 movies of 2018. 

15.  Can You Ever Forgive Me?  

Each year since 2013, I’ve searched for the Philomena slot.  Philomena was a sweet, true story starring Judi Dench and Steve Coogan, telling a tale that had no right to be as enjoyable to watch as it was. The final movie I had the opportunity to see, Can You Ever Forgive Me, fits this category.  Starring Melissa McCarthy and the brilliant Richard E Grant, Forgive Me finds a way into our hearts despite telling the story of a true misanthrope, Lee Israel.  Two movies took me out of the theatre and into the bookstore to read the source material, Annihilation (the book supersedes the movie) and Can You Ever Forgive Me, a must-see and must read.  

14.  Avengers: Infinity War

In past years’ lists, I’ve put plenty of prestige films in the slots over movies that were simply enjoyable.  Not this year, at least seven of my fifteen are here because I had a blast watching them.  Avengers: Infinity War starts the enjoyability train with a bang or should I say a snap.  Marvel capped a ten-year romp through the cinematic world with an incredibly engaging first half of the current Avengers swan song.  It was pulled off in large part due to the film’s decision to focus on developing the villain, Thanos.  While brutally psychotic, the charisma of Josh Brolin shines through and made watching evil reign victorious rather fun.  

13.  The Favourite 

As a follow-up to his 2017 disturbing masterpiece, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, Yorgos Lanthimos continues to prove why he’s one of the most interesting directors in Hollywood.  Here, he is able to deliver a wickedly, delicious re-telling of Queen Anne and the women who served her.  The Favourite is one of the best acted films of the year delivering three outstanding performances from Olivia Colman, Emma Stone, and Rachel Weisz.  Olivia Colman’s Oscar speech was incredibly fitting for such an honest film.  The camera oscillates between scenes of hilarious dark comedy to disturbing back-stabbing drama.  Rarely does a film so perfectly fit the category of dramedy.  

12.  A Simple Favor 

The next film on the list of enjoyable films is Paul Feig’s dark comedy A Simple Favor.  It’s rather perfectly situated on this list next to The Favourite, and while Lanthimos has constructed the better overall film, Feig has created the perfect theatre going experience.  There’s something for everyone in this movie and it never loses its sense of humor even as the plot veers into thriller territory.  A Simple Favor is the cosmopolitan drink of movies - you may criticize, but that won’t keep you from ordering at least one.  

11. A Quiet Place 

Congratulations to all the women nominated for Best Actress, but keeping Emily Blunt off of that list was downright criminal.  Never has a porcelain tub and a nail been more terrifying.  As John Krasinski delves into the horror genre, he doesn’t lose his sense of honesty and maturity toward the themes of family.  In a movie where silence reigns supreme, where there are more sign language scenes than spoken word, the moments where silence is ruptured and we glimpse into the horrors of a life without sound, that’s when the movie comes alive.  

10.  Disobedience 

A one-line synopsis: a forbidden romance threatens the boundaries of a strict Orthodox Jewish neighborhood on the outskirts of London; all set around a funeral.  Does it sound like a fun movie?  Disobedience falls prey to caricatured thematic tropes, but surpasses its limitations with three of the best acting performances of the year from Rachel Weisz, Rachel McAdams, and Alessandro Nivola.  Situated on this list next to A Quiet Place, the story lives in the fraught silences and tension-filled glances between Weisz and McAdams.  On the other side, Alessandro Nivola delivers such a restrained and committed performance that lives on the boundaries of how do you serve God and serve your wife, when those two things are oppositional.  

9.  Game Night

My review for Game Night is simple.  If you found it funny, you loved it; I loved it.  Game Night combined with A Simple Favor were my two most enjoyable movie going nights of the year.  A big thanks to Nicole Klostermann for being around for both.  Game Night is devilishly fun, Rachel McAdams is startlingly hilarious, and Jesse Plemons continues to grow into one of the best young character actors on the planet.  A perfect movie for your friends.  Have a game night, watch Game Night.  

8.  Widows 

Widows suffers from an uneven script and on the re-watch, enough plot holes to fill the armored car, but it transcends those issues by combining great acting with perfect directing.  The list is short: David Fincher, Yorgos Lanthimos, Greta Gerwig, Denis Villeneuve, and now, Steve McQueen; just list one of those five directors and I’ve already bought my ticket to the theatre.  Steven McQueen understands intimate moments told inventively better than any working director on the planet.  The infamous shot from Widows comes through the mouth of Colin Farrell, but the vision of a deeply gentrified neighborhood in Chicago.  Steven McQueen is a master at work in Widows, however his success works in tandem with the star-making performances from supporting actors Brian Tyree Henry, Daniel Kaluuya, and the entire collection of women including Viola Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Cynthia Erivo, and the phenomenal Elizabeth Debicki.  Of all the films on this list, Widows was the first one I needed to see twice.  Deeply disturbing and not for the faint hearted, Widows is a must watch for any aspiring director.  

7.  Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse 

Those of you aware of my own personal preferences know that I’m not a fan of animated movies.  I watched Incredibles 2 and found myself barely able to stay awake.  However, each year a film surprises me and Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse is precisely that film.  It quickly races into my three most beautiful animated films list behind Kubo and the Two Strings, and Spirited Away.  The film is purely enjoyable from both a storytelling and animation point of view.  Perhaps the greatest Spiderman movie ever made, Spiderverse integrates comedy with loss, hardship with triumph.  The scene delivered between a silent Miles inside his room and his father searching for words on the outside is perhaps the most poignant scene of the year.  This is a film that dives deep into the depths of what it means to be a hero.  

6.  Black Panther 

Marvel’s best movie made to date; there I said it and I won’t take it back.  Ryan Coogler elevates the entire superhero formula by creating an intensely fun, yet socially significant comic book movie without having to rely on quips to bring in the humor.  Top to bottom one of the best ensemble casts of the year, Black Panther lives up to the hype and completes the task of creating fully-realized heroes as well as villains.  I look forward to seeing how the sequel can build on the success of the first, without losing its core sense of self in the process.  

5.  Eighth Grade

By far the most disturbing scene of the year comes inside of the social commentary movie about approaching adulthood, Eighth Grade. For those who saw the pool scene and weren’t on the edge of your seat yelling at the screen, I envy your middle school experience.  Eighth Grade is nothing short of a horror movie for those of us who suffered the slings and arrows of being social pariahs.  I have never connected on such an emotional level with a performance and character more than Elsie Fisher’s portrayal of Kayla.  Both Fisher and writer/director Bo Burnham create an familiar yet private look into the modern American early teenage outcast.  Eighth Grade is an emotional rollercoaster.  We cry in anguish as Kayla waits by the screened door, afraid to show her one piece bathing suit and we cheer with glee when she realizes that the awkward kid might just be her best friend.  In 2003, Evan Rachel Wood starred in Thirteen the docu-drama turned horror film for parents to watch.  Eighth Grade is the more honest portrayal within the same format. It’s genuine, tender, and emotionally satisfying.  

4.  Won’t You Be My Neighbor 

In this day and age, it’s a bad idea to idolize someone famous.  In the end, you’re bound to uncover something terrible from their past, but there are exceptions.  Fred Rogers is one of those exceptions.  In a patient and honest portrayal, documentarian Morgan Neville takes the viewer on an intimate and extremely emotional journey behind the cardigans and land of make-believe, into the heart and mind of Fred Rogers.  This film made me fall in love with Mr. Rogers all over again.  For those of us in the speech/theatre world, his congressional appearance in 1969 is the stuff of legends and I’m thankful we are able to re-live and remember a true American hero like Fred Rogers.  “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning.  But for children, play is serious learning.  Play is really the work of childhood.” 

3.  Roma 

It’s rare when you watch a modern movie and immediately know it will be studied in film classes for the next hundred years.  Within the first five minutes, I knew Roma was such a film.  Roma is a quiet and simple story about a complex woman.  As we watch, Cleo, played miraculously by Yalitza Aparicio go through the daily turmoil of taking care of a family that cannot take care of itself; we are engrossed in the everyday beauty of seemingly inconsequential things from cleaning dog poop off of the driveway to watching martial arts in a dusty field.  Each of these moments is carefully produced and shot to create a masterful work.  The heartbreak is deeper and the joy is greater because of the connection the camera creates with Cleo.  Roma is a movie that transcends language, but never forgets to celebrate heritage.  It is by far the best drama of 2018.  

2.  The Death of Stalin

It’s hard when you write year-end reviews to avoid being hyperbolic.  When you proclaim things like, “this is the funniest movie of the past decade,” you should actually mean it rather than just run out of words to write.  With that being said, this is the funniest movie of the past decade.  The script is perfectly selected, like the courses at a five-star restaurant.  Armando Iannucci has been responsible for some of the best comedy in recent years from The Thick of it (and subsequently In the Loop) to HBO’s Veep to The Death of Stalin, each production has been widely heralded as being extremely funny, while simultaneously remaining relevant, truthful, and poignant.  This is especially true in Stalin, where we are treated to a whirl-wind comedy that crashes swiftly to the ground in the final act to reveal the underbelly of evil and corruption.  This is satire at it’s truest form.  Extreme hilarity mixed with heavy social commentary and tremendous real world consequences.  The cast is superb, lead by the wickedly evil and equally hilarious Simon Russell Beale as Lavrenti Beria.  It is by far the best comedy of 2018.  

1.  Free Solo

I’ve never had a documentary reach the top of my list, but then again, I’ve never seen a movie like Free Solo.  On its face, Free Solo isn’t the type of movie I would generally go for.  I’m terrified of heights, I don’t care about climbing, and I think when documentarians break the fourth wall it dooms the overall piece.  Throw all of that out the window for the most beautifully shot film that I’ve ever seen.  Free Solo is a triumphant success for both documentarian and subject matter alike.  The athletic feat Alex Honnold completes (spoiler, he doesn’t die) is up there with any single accomplishment in the history of sports.  It seems impossible to imagine just how difficult the task of free solo climbing Yosemite’s 3,000 foot El Capitan can be, but the camera creates all the imagination for us.  At all times, there are three stories at play inside of this compact movie.  The first is the climb itself.  Alex takes such intricate notes about pieces of the rockface that are smaller than pebbles.  Each of these hand/foot holds must support his entire body, otherwise he will fall to his death.  The second is the story of the documentarians, Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, along with their camera crew as the group grows closer with the subject.  There is an intimate and loving story that goes alongside the climb about just what are the limits of filming what could potentially cause someone’s death.  And can the camera itself create more pressure thereby leading to said subject’s death.  The final story is the one that grabbed ahold of me and didn’t let go.  Aside from the climb itself, we are brought into the neurotic and at times self-centered world of Alex Honnold as he tries to make the climb and hold onto his girlfriend at the same time.  As an artist, this story portrayed so many of my own questions and concerns.  Is it possible to be truly great and simultaneously live a happy life?  What must be given up in order to accomplish greatness?  Alex’s struggle to tame both the beast inside and on the rock face is a story that must be shared and gladly seen.  You will not watch a more complete movie this year.  That is why Free Solo is both the best documentary and the best movie of 2018.  

Why I Direct Community Theatre: A Decade in Community, College, and High School Theatre

“Food and shelter are very nice, but without stories to hear and tell, we might as well be the walking dead.” ~Leah Cohen, The Stuff of Dreams: Behind the Scenes of an American Community Theatre.  

The Drowning of Manhattan 2008

There are certain birthdays where it’s important to mark the occasion, to celebrate the milestone in having reached it.  At 16, you can drive and no longer go on grocery trips with your mother just to get out of small town Iowa.  At 18, you drive around to three separate gas stations just waiting for someone to card you when buying cigarettes you’ll never smoke.  At 21, you legally buy an Appletini and realize there are so many better drinks.  And at 30, you get scared that you’re turning 30.  This is how I’ve felt for the past few months as 30 rapidly approached.  I worry that I haven’t accomplished enough or that I’m not where I want to be personally, spiritually, or professionally.  And yet, I can’t entirely lose my mind, because I have a show to direct.  This is a common symptom.  In fact, out of my last 10 birthdays, 8 have fallen on show dates.  2018 is no exception and yet, it does mark a milestone.  This Sunday, I’ll turn 30 years old, I’ll have been directing for exactly one decade, and Julius Caesar marks my 50th directing project.  30, 10, and 50.  I like round numbers.  

Julius Caesar 2012

In the past decade, I’ve worked on 50 projects; 24 full length plays, 17 one acts, 9 assistant directing, plus another 50+ categories coached in five years of competitive speech.  I’d say that I could’ve never imagined this work load considering it also includes acting, dramaturging, designing, teaching, and completing an MFA, but then I’d be lying.  If you could go back and tell 20 year old me that I’d hit 50 shows by age 30, I’d say, “I thought it would be closer to 75.”  I’ve always been an over-worked artist, entirely by my own design.  I used to say that, “theatre is my whole world and directing is my air, take it away and I can’t breathe.”  I’ve had a passion for directing in a way that I can’t quite explain because it’s certainly a love/hate relationship.  It’s a low-paying, extremely stressful job that demands much more of you than you think it will at the beginning of the project and yet, to see your artistic vision embodied, it’s truly a spectacular sight to see.  I’ve seen miracles take place onstage.  

Romeo & Juliet 2013

With 50 projects in 10 years, you would think that I’ve ventured into professional regional theatre, but I haven’t.  Despite the workload, all of these productions fit into one of three categories: Community Theatre, College Theatre, or High School Theatre.  Shockingly, the bright lights have never interested me and I’ve never attempted to direct for anything bigger than a Community Theatre.  Simply put, I love the community of Community Theatre.  I love that in any given show the four leads can be made up of an Uber driver, a law clerk, a photographer’s assistant, and a florist.  In the educational setting, I love that the kid who can barely speak a sentence in class, gets up and plays Mercutio.  I love when the class clown turns into Hamlet.  It seems that I’ve traded a lifetime of names on a marquee for gyms, poorly air-conditioned black boxes, and finding inventive ways to use a library.  I’ve turned in searching for an equity card to searching for a hardware membership card.  After 10 years, I’ve learned a lot and here’s just a little of what I’ve learned.

Casting 

Blood Letters 2014

Throw out all your rules for casting.  You say you won’t cast couples: too bad you’ve got 3 couples in one show.   You say your lead has to be played by a man:  too bad only women auditioned for the show.  You say this is the perfect cast:  too bad over 10 of the actors quit (3x).  All the rules you can create mean very little in Community Theatre.  You never know what you’re going to get when you audition so stop trying to put restrictions and instead expand your creative playground.  Instead of looking for the perfect cast, look for all the possibilities that each actor can provide.  Actor A can’t do dramatic work - well find a way to include comedy.  Actor B can’t sing, break out that copy of My Fair Lady and turn them into Rex Harrison.  Never be confined to what you think is possible - always seek to explore the impossible.  The only rules that matter are the following:

1.  Cast a Family.  Don’t cast the most talented actors; cast the best ensemble.  A group of people that like each other will always show up for each other.  

2.  Work Ethic.  If an actor sells you on their work ethic - cast them in a leading role.  As long as they have some talent, any director worth their salt can turn them into the performer they need.  

3.  Cast Talent.  Skilled actors are a dime a dozen, if you get an actor with raw talent - cast them!  Give them the opportunity to shine.  

Production

30 in 30: JC Reborn 2014

Now you have your cast.  3 have done regional theatre, 4 have done community theatre, 2 are high schoolers, and one is still confused where they are at all times.  It’s your cast, be proud that you were able to do it without having to plead on the phone with actors at 2 AM searching for just one more male.  It might not be the “perfect” cast, but it’s your cast.  Get rid of all your “what ifs” and move on with belief and strength.  Prep every rehearsal beforehand and make the process professional for you.  Keep a schedule and don’t deviate.  If you say rehearsal ends at 10, do your best to keep to it.  Try weird ways to engage the actors.  Play the newlywed game.  

1.  Don’t assume your community theatre ensemble knows anything about theatre down to what’s Stage Right and Stage Left.  In both the educational world and community theatre, the director is as much a teacher as anything.  Don’t talk down to actors who know less than you, because most likely some actors know more than you do.  

2.  Expect more; not less.  Just because some of your actors may be theatrical neophytes doesn’t mean that the production should be anything less than extraordinary.  I direct community theatre, but I still expect regional theatre level quality.  I believe in my actors and in turn, they believe in the production.  

3.  Be a person and a friend alongside being a director.  A theatre ensemble is like a small family and as you build that family take the paternal/maternal role.  These people aren’t paid to be there.  Never take their hard work and dedication for granted.  Always thank them.  Always be cordial.  Look to be helpful when they are tired, they are anxious, they are worried about things outside the theatre.  Be a person and in turn, they’ll listen to your direction.  

Being a Director 

Directing is hard and in community theatre it’s at times downright impossible.  On any given day, you will have to serve as your own ASM, sound designer, costumer, and actor.  It’s extremely stressful and can, at times, feel like the world is against you.  It isn’t.  Breathe and go with the flow.  

1.  Know who you are and be proud of it.  Perhaps the hardest thing of my career is apologizing for the way in which I direct.  I’m a really weird director and ask actors to do extremely strange activities.  I care more about cast bonding than I do the script.  I love to put inside jokes into the plays for no one’s benefit but myself.  Know who you are - be proud of it.  This is who I am.  Hopefully you hire me, but whether you do or you don’t, I will always be me.  I’ll adapt for the show and the company, but you can’t make a cheetah lose his spots.  

2.  Trust your Gut.  The major times I’ve been wrong in theatre are when I don’t trust my gut.  I second guess myself (sometimes through the entire production) and it leads me to ruin.  Create a theatrical gut and then trust it to lead you in the right direction.  

3.  Directors are fallible.  You aren’t always right; try to direct with as much humility as you can muster.  You’re a human too; accept that you’re going to get stressed, perhaps even depressed, but do your utmost best to manage it.  Try and be professional and let everything fall into place.  And if you’re having a bad day; have it.  Move on tomorrow.  

30 in 30: The Medea Project 2013

Directing has been a strange mistress these past 10 years.  At times, she has been cruel and demanding and at other times, soft and gentle.  Directing has brought me profound anguish and supreme hope.  There are days when I think it’s time to stop.  Days when I think the stress level is too high, but then I reach the end of a project and realize that I’ve already signed up for another three.  I think it’s because of something I said at the opening of the World Premiere of 30 in 30: The Medea Project, “Each one of my shows takes my whole heart and soul to create and so each show feels like it takes a lifetime to make.  I want to thank this tremendous cast for sharing an incredible lifetime with me.”  50 lifetimes in 10 years makes turning 30 feel a little less scary.  

Come and Join the Celebration 

Julius Caesar July 20-22/27-29 at the First Street Building in Mount Vernon, IA.