Today the major motion picture box office is inundated with the same crap every day. We get bad sequels to comedies. Sequels to everything that makes money (only the sequels don't build on anything), and we get reboots. It seems like there are no new ideas for the major box office winners. The Master is a brilliant movie with plenty of ingenuity. It's budget: 32 million. It's box office: 28 million. Studios: Guess that didn't work, lets reboot The Fantastic Four. With that in mind here is a list of movies that I want to see. This would have been titled the 8 movies that should be made, but my number one choice has just been cast. Anyone who is anyone must read Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. I first heard the story when I was 10, watching the 1998 olympics. The story of Louis Zamperini, an Olympic Runner, who fought in WWII was shot down, captured, and tortured in a Japanese Internment Camp. I have just heard, however, that Angelina Jolie will be directing the film and has cast a Skins star to play the lead. I would be worried about a Jolie direction, but the screenwriters are the best in the business, the Coen Brothers. I am excited. Here are my other 7 choices.
1. Wedding Crashers 2:
Wedding Crashers was a brilliant comedic movie that exists among the sludge of what passes for comedy today. It was a well-written script, it was well-casted, but most importantly it had great chemistry. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson lit up the screen with crafted well-liners, which created comedic dialogue rather than just an amalgamation of an incoherent joke factory; something most comedies do today. And then the movie was over and each actor had to go their separate ways. Some dealt with personal issues i.e. Wilson, and some dealt with professional issues i.e. Vaughn with a slew of box office mistakes including Couples Retreat, The Watch, The Dilemma, & Fred Claus. So naturally the studios wanted to capitalize on the success that brought them hundreds of millions of dollars. How do we make the same movie? Well obviously just get these two guys together again. As anyone who has an IQ above a squirrel knows of course this doesn't work. The Internship is nothing but a re-hashed group of jokes set in a simplistic plot with terrible writing. A comedian can make even a bad script funny, at times, but a bad script will always be a bad script. On the Dan Patrick Show, Vaughn said "We had been waiting for the right script and finally it came to us in The Internship." While I respect Vaughn for his love of everything Chicago, especially the Cubs, his likability has shrunken into a phony, unrealistic mess, much like the Cubs Season. This is why we need Wedding Crashers 2. Most of the time a sequel to a comedy fails miserably with the exception being movies like Ghostbusters 2 and Beverly Hills Cop 2. But the reason for these downfalls is not because the premise doesn't work, it's because the studios have no desire to make a good film. Take Chronicle, 2012's found footage superhero/supernatural movie. A good idea, with a mediocre 3rd act, that made money at the box office and has even the casual fan, myself, interested in a sequel. Now there are so many places you could go with a sequel but when Max Landis presented his script that explored the entire universe of the movie, the studio, much like four year olds before their nap, came back with, "No, we want another Chronicle," meaning they wanted another re-hash instead of an evolution of the story. Hangover II was a re-hash, literally the exact same movie, just in a different place. So how could a Wedding Crashers II be successful? The main success is from the likability of the cast, so don't change the cast. Bring back Wilson, Vaughn, Fisher, and McAdams. Maybe add in a small cameo by Walken and Cooper, but just focus on the main four. Next, don't make this another Wedding Crashers I, what interests me about this idea is not to see another Wedding Crashers, but rather to see the continued storyline of these four characters. How the hell will these two fornicators survive in real relationships, what happens when kids become involved, will they resort back to their partying days or actually become, you know, adults. Essentially give me a This is 40 for Wedding Crashers II. This is 40 is technically the sequel to Knocked Up, but really not at all. I want to see an extension of these characters. And it could work. The problem with This is 40 was that we were told people wanted to see the couple characters from Knocked Up, but really no one actually did. Unfortunately the funniest part of This is 40 is the get away hotel scene…which is this exact same scene from Knocked Up, when Rudd and Rogen escape to Vegas. Wedding Crashers II, don't do that to me. Capitalize on the success of the first film by evolving, not copying.
2. Cloverfield II
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| Bet he has an opinion |
This one is short and too the point. I loved Cloverfield and obviously I wasn't the only one because a 25 million dollar budget made over 170 million dollars. Give me a found footage of the same event but from the perspective of a young army recruit trying to save civilians. You can get the same person to person story, but without the romantic angle. Also who doesn't want to see another Blair Witch meets Godzilla found footage?
3. Truman's Decision
This concept isn't based on any previous movie but rather the event. I want to see a movie about the end of World War II and Truman's Decision to drop the bombs. It had to have been the hardest decision an United States President has ever made, right or wrong, and it drastically changed the world forever. There is a book, Off the Record: The Private Papers of Harry S Truman by Robert Ferrell. The book includes excerpts from Truman's Diary including one for July 25, 1945: "It [A-bombs] seems to be the most terrible thing ever discovered, but it can be made the most useful…" This would be a chilling look at American History. I would cast Anthony Hopkins or if you wanted younger, wait five years and cast Matt Damon.
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| Bloody Sock played by Sean Bean |
4. Miracle on Dirt 2004
How have we not had a look at the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series in film yet. If you described the Yankee Series alone it sounds like a movie, the bloody sock, the historic comeback, the hated rival. It screams for a movie to be made. Focus on the series alone and give major roles to actors playing Epstein, Steinbrenner, Schilling(although he already has too much of an ego), Jeter, and Varitek.
5. The Policewoman
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| That's a Badass |
Technically this movie has been made before, but it was a bio-pic and filmed in 1914. It is the story of Alice Stebbens Wells, the first woman police officer for the LAPD. In 1910, Wells garnered national attention when she managed to get on the force. The subsequent movie was widely popular. Her career spanned forty years and which included many important rights for women argued and implemented. Her story has gone untold and should be told today.
6. The Pig
The actual title for this would be the Prequel to Kingdom of Heaven, but really it would be an equal because it happened at the same time. I know that a lot of people liked Kingdom of Heaven, I was not one of them. I didn't hate it but despised the depiction of Baldwin IV of Jerusalem. It turned Baldwin, well-played by Edward Norton, into a wimp, hiding behind a mask. This was not the real Baldwin IV. Born suffering from Leprosy, most believed he would not reign more than a year. At age 13 he took the crown and reigned for 11 years. He was a brilliant political mind, setting up marriages and alliances that solidified his families power. Also when he did not renew the Saladin Treaty which the wars in Kingdom of Heaven are based on, not only did he fight in his own battles, but won many, riding on horseback. The Muslims nicknamed him The Pig. And he never wore a mask. He was not ashamed of what and who he was. I want to see a movie about him and his wars. Not the other way around.
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| Not that Michael Jordan |
7. Logan's Run Reboot
Logan's Run was originally made in 1976 and was as box office success starring Michael York, Peter Ustinov, and briefly, Farrah Fawcett. Since its inception many studios have tried to reboot the film including a season long television show. Already the studios are working with a great plot however they have decided to go with movies such as Justin Timberlake's In Time, instead. Logan's Run is set in a dystopian world, but an utopian society. Everyone lives in a glass domed city and lives with all the pleasures of life, with one catch. When the crystal in their hands tell them they have reached 30 years old, they voluntarily allow themselves to be executed and then "reborn." When someone reaches their date and chooses to run, a group of sandmen must chase them down and bring them to their respective ends. York plays Logan 5, a sandman, who in searching for a group known as "sanctuary" has his crystal activated and must run. It is a rather brilliant conceit and for those of us who like looking at dystopian concepts, it's really great. I suggest anyone/everyone should see it, but I would tell you to read the book first. The book, which must be the basis for the reboot instead of the original movie. The book by William Nolan and George Johnson is much different but the key difference is age. Everyone dies when they are 21. The studios thought 21 would be too shocking so they changed the age to 30, but 21 offers such an important piece of the puzzle. 21 means that there is no concept of history. If no one reaches past that age, history of the world would no longer exist. It is also the age, today, when we believe a person truly becomes an adult (which is bullshit). Age would be a big factor. The other major thing a reboot must include would be a smaller studio. This should not be a major budget film because they would ruin it. A smaller movie, maybe even a found footage would suffice. Finally you need to get young talent, not just young in their age because they would need to play people under the age of 21, but young aspiring talent. Not Selena Gomez or anyone from the CW. I would cast Michael B Jordan, Shailene Woodley, and Asa Butterfield. So studios make a small budget, highly talented, book oriented movie.
