Saturday, September 5, 2015

Bold Predictions: The Time for Unbridled Optimism

September: Tis the season for unbridled optimism.  September is the time for a new semester, for new loves, for new chances, for new opportunities to break into the administration building to plant a pirate flag (surely not personal experience).  For sports fans, September is the beginning of football season, both college and professional, and for baseball fans it represents the final push for the playoffs.  The lazy dog days are over and its back to work.  For me, September represents two things I have almost never been witness to before.  The first, for someone who is not in school and not employed, September looks a lot like August (I hate it) and second, the Chicago Cubs are in contention and are, in fact, good.  The first needs to be fixed, but the second is a godsend.  Finally we have a good team.  Despite injuries, the Packers look good.  The Irish may be in contention for the College Football playoff.  The Hawkeyes look mediocre, but I still have hope..  Plus, I’ve got enough projects planned that I might be unemployed, but soon I’ll be busy again.  So in the week that I have before my unbridled optimism fads, I present my Bold Predictions for Fall 2015, the year, and beyond:

Sports:  Football
College:  The Iowa Hawkeyes will go 8-4, Kirk Ferentz will keep his job, they will play in a bowl game on January 1 in Florida, they’ll play an SEC team and probably lose, and if Jeb Bush is still in the race, he will magically put on a Hawkeyes hat and say he’s always been a fan.  The Notre Dame Fighting Irish will finish the season 11-1, make the playoff, and Malik Zaire will be a Heisman finalist.  The College Football Playoff will include Ohio State, Alabama, TCU, and Notre Dame (In that order).  The Heisman Award finalists will include Trevone Boykin (TCU), JT Barrett (OSU), Malik Zaire (ND), Leonard Fournette (LSU), and Cody Kessley (USC).  The National Championship will be won by Notre Dame, but when my magical world doesn’t happen, TCU will win the National Championship behind their Heisman Winner Trevone Boykin.  
Professional:  Fantasy Football I will win at least two of my leagues and Agents of Sam Shields will be secretly thought of as a clever name in my league.  AFC Division winners:  Patriots, Bengals (Don’t let me down), Colts, Broncos, Chiefs (WC), Dolphins (WC).  Dolphins top Bengals, Patriots top Chiefs, Broncos top Dolphins, Colts beat Patriots, Peyton Manning comes up short again, Indianapolis Colts win the AFC.  NFC Division Winners:  Cowboys, Packers, Panthers (God the NFC South Sucks), Seahawks, Eagles (WC), Giants (WC).  Wild Card Rules Eagles beat Cowboys, Panthers get destroyed by Giants, Packers beat Giants, Seahawks beat Eagles, Packers beat Seahawks in Lambeau, Green Bay Packers represent the NFC.  Packers win the Superbowl (I’m a Packers fan, so if this doesn’t happen Colts win the Superbowl).  League MVP:  Andrew Luck.   
Extras:  Roger Goodell makes another error when handling a disciplinary action, he keeps his job, but announces he’ll be stepping down in 2018.  After nine teams make valid arguments for the College Playoff in March 2016, the NCAA announces the Eight team playoff.  Peyton Manning gets injured in the latter half of the season, which ends up costing him the AFC Championship.  A Manatee will accurately pick 9 out of the 12 playoff teams and make the news for two weeks.

Baseball:  MLB
American League:  The Blue Jays win the division and millions of people in Montreal claim they liked the Toronto team all along, Royals, and Astros also take their divisions with the Yankees and Rangers playing in the Wild Card Playoff.  Royals dispatch the Yankees in four,  Astros upset the Blue Jays in five, Royals take the Pennant in Six. National League:  In a massive miracle, the imploding Nationals turn their season around and beat the Mets for the division.  The Cardinals and Dodgers win with the Pirates and Cubs playing for the Wild Card Playoff.  Cubs Win and play the Nationals destroying them in four, Cardinals take out the dodgers in four.  Cardinals play the Cubs and all of my dreams come true, the CUBS win the Pennant and take out the Royals…Or it turns out their isn’t magic and the Cardinals win the Pennant in five.  World Series:  The Cubs win…Or the Missouri World Series goes Seven Games and the Royals upset the Cardinals.  Royals win.  Joe Maddon wins Manager of the year.  AL MVP:  Josh Donaldson (Blue Jays) and NL MVP:  Bryce Harper (Nationals).  

This predictions thing is fun so I’ll keep going…

Politics:  
The Republican Nominee will not by Donald Trump and his running mate will not be Sarah Palin, although he will win more than one primary/caucus.  The Republican Nominee will be Marco Rubio and he will choose John Kasich as his running mate.  Bernie Sanders will win one caucus/primary but will not be the nominee.  Joe Biden will enter the race (And I will caucus for him), but unfortunately will not garner enough support to beat Hillary Clinton.  Clinton will suffer another two months of email problems, but then get on track after New Hampshire.  The election will be Rubio/Kasich vs. Clinton/Patrick (Deval Patrick of Massachusetts).  

Movies:

Best Picture: Ten movies will be nominated for best picture including one overwhelming crowd favorite: Inside Out, Steve Jobs, The Hateful Eight, Joy, The Revenant, Suffragette, Trumbo, The Danish Girl, Spotlight, Brooklyn, and Bridge of Spies.  In the weeks leading up to the Oscar nominations people will hold out hope for crowd favorite Mad Max, but alas it won’t happen.  No Idea who will win, but I predict I will love Spotlight.  Best Actor:  Michael Fassbender(Steve Jobs), Leonardo DiCaprio (The Revenant), Eddie Redmayne (The Danish Girl), Johnny Depp (Black Mass), Michael Caine (Youth).  I will hold out hope that Joseph Gordon Levitt gets the final nom for either Snowden or The Walk.  Michael Fassbender will win Best Actor. Best Actress:  Cate Blanchett (Carol), Saoirse Ronan (Brooklyn), Lily Tomlin (Grandma), Carey Mulligan (Suffragette), and Charlize Theron (Mad Max).  Lily Tomlin will win best actress.  Best Supporting Actor:  Someone from The Hateful Eight, Jason Segel (The End of the Tour), Benicio Del Toro (Sicario), Someone from Spotlight, Tom Hardy (The Revenant).  Best Supporting Actress:  Rooney Mara (Carol), Julie Walters (Brooklyn), Meryl Streep (Suffragette), Lara Linney (Genius), Kate Winslet (Steve Jobs).  Rooney Mara Will win.  

Bonus:  Jon Hamm will finally win an Emmy.  His speech will be cute and funny.  I love Jon Hamm.