Welcome to the 2013 Not Oscars Award Ceremony (NOAC) where we celebrate the movies, actors, producers, and designers that got shafted by the Academy. Last year's winner 50/50 is excited to welcome the newest member into the club.
The rules are simple. In each category five selections were made by a panel of me, myself, and I. The only rule is that they cannot be nominated for that specific Oscar by the Academy. My Not Oscar Award Ceremony also only goes down to Best Cinematography because I can't grade the rest of it. Now on to the Awards.
Best Picture
The Nominees are: Cloud Atlas
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
The Dark Knight Rises
Moonrise Kingdom
The Master
The Winner is: This is a difficult category because I actually think the Academy got most of their selections right, I would have liked to see The Dark Knight Rises nominated because they fucked up so badly when The Dark Knight got shafted, but that's how it goes. The other movie that should have gotten a nomination and this year's NOAC Winner is Moonrise Kingdom. A brilliant masterpiece by Wes Anderson. This is another Anderson subtle comedy but unlike some of his most recent movies this allows all of his characters to be fully developed and shine.
Best Actor:
The Nominees are: John Hawkes The Sessions
Jack Black Bernie
Anthony Hopkins Hitchcock
Brad Pitt Killing Them Softly
Tom Hanks Cloud Atlas
The Winner is: This is another category that the Academy got right and honestly it doesn't matter at all because Daniel Day-Lewis is going to walk away with this award, but there were some fantastic male leads this year. I, unlike most, thought Tom Hanks put on an acting clinic in the under-appreciated Cloud Atlas and because Killing Them Softly was marketed wrong so many people missed out on the depressingly beautiful mob enforcer in Brad Pitt. But the NOAC goes to John Hawkes in The Sessions. Playing a paralyzed poet is never easy, but then to make hum funny and likable instead of just sympathetic is downright impossible, but Hawkes handles the role with ease.
Best Actress:
The Nominees are: Kara Hayward Moonrise Kingdom
Marion Cotillard Rust and Bone
Helen Mirren Hitchcock
Rachel Weisz The Deep Blue Sea
Meryl Streep Hope Springs
The Winner is: Hands down, the Academy screwed her and she wins this without discussion, Marion Cotillard in Rust and Bone. I understand the love affair with Emmanuelle Riva in Amour but this was a year where two foreign actresses should have gotten the nod over Naomi Watts. Watch Rust and Bone, Cotillard is just as brilliant as when she won the award for La Vie en Rose.
Best Supporting Actor:
The Nominees are: Javier Bardem Skyfall
Ezra Miller The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Leonardo DiCaprio Django Unchained
John Goodman Argo
Michael Pena End of Watch
The Winner is: Confusion abounds in the selection of Christoph Waltz by the Academy. I am a fan of Waltz, but this is far from an award winning performance. Robert De Niro was also a strange choice, but again this is a run away category by Tommy Lee Jones. However in the NOAC we are happy to give this award to Ezra Miller for The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Perks was a well scripted, well acted, teenage movie. Miller deserves this award not just for the movie but because of his shafting two years in a row, this year and last year's We Need to Talk about Kevin
Best Supporting Actress:
The Nominees are: Samantha Barks Les Miserables
Maggie Smith The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Nicole Kidman The Paperboy
Frances McDormand Moonrise Kingdom
Ann Dowd Compliance
The Winner is: Once again the Academy was fairly correct this year, something I am saying a lot this year and not at all in years past. The NOAC goes to Nicole Kidman in The Paperboy, which I have to say, although it stars Zak Efron and John Cusack, this was a pretty damn good movie.
Best Director
The Nominees are: Tom Hooper Les Miserables
Wes Anderson Moonrise Kingdom
Ben Affleck Argo
Kathryn Bigelow Zero Dark Thirty
Colin Trevorrow Safety Not Guaranteed
The Winner is: This is the category that the Academy shafted people left and right. Other than Colin Trevorrow each of our NOAC nominees could have won this years Oscar. And although I loved what Tom Hooper did with Les Miz (I know I might be one of the only ones), no doubt should this go to Ben Affleck and Argo. Gone Baby Gone was good, The Town was quite good, but Argo is a true story masterpiece, one of the best movies of the year, and brilliantly seen. The director's casting and vision were very apparent in this film.
Best Original Screenplay
The Nominees are: Seven Psychopaths
Looper
Safety Not Guaranteed
The Cabin in the Woods
Friends with Kids
The Winner is: I don't care what anyone else says, Friends with Kids is a well written movie. It has equal parts humor and sorrow and I even like this movie more than Bridesmaids. That being said, the NOAC goes to Looper, a very creative movie from Rian Johnson, although it did not get amazing reviews I believe that had more to do with Bruce Willis mailing in the acting than the script.
Best Adapted Screen Play
The Nominees are: The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Les Miserables
Cloud Atlas
The Sessions
The Dark Knight Rises
The Winner is: Cloud Atlas. I know that I am one of the only people who liked this movie, but I loved it. It changed the way I look at things and it did a great adaption from the David Mitchell novel.
Best Foreign Film
The Nominees are: The Intouchables (France)
Sister (Switzerland)
Blood of My Blood (Portugal)
Death for Sale (Morocco)
Caesar Must Die (Italy)
The Winner is: The Intouchables is a really brilliant film and although Amour is definitely the best foreign film, The Intouchables deserved a nod. I also liked Lea Seydoux in Sister, but the NOAC goes to The Intouchables.
Best Documentary
The Nominees are: Jiro Dreams of Sushi
Brooklyn Castle
The Waiting Room
West of Memphis
The Central Park Five
The Winner is: They have already announced that it is going to be a major motion picture, Brooklyn Castle, is an amazing story about overcoming adversity and struggling to achieve greatness. Here is a link to the trailer, do yourself a favor and watch this film. Brooklyn Castle Trailer
Best Animated Feature
The Nominees are: Rise of the Guardians
The Lorax
The Secret World of Arrietty
A Cat in Paris
Madagascar 3
The Winner is: Wreck it Ralph or Paranorman are easy winners this year, but the NOAC goes to a little known movie called A Cat in Paris, if only to say the title, A Cat in Paris.
Best Cinematography
The Nominees are: Les Miserables (Danny Cohen)
The Master (Mihai Malaimare Jr)
Cloud Atlas (Franke Griebe and John Toll)
Argo (Rodrigo Prieto)
The Dark Knight Rises
The Winner is: This category along with directing is very hard to say because all five of these films were beautifully shot. But in a year that looked over a movie because of a terrible tragedy I have no problem saying that The Dark Knight Rises wins this award.
"Once Dark Knight Rises wins Best Cinematography then I give you my permission to die."
….Oh and Cloud Atlas for Costuming and Makeup. 100%
Next Week Oscar Picks.
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