AKA My Picks for the Record.
Once again the NFL season starts anew and with it the hopes and dreams of 30 teams, 1500+ players, and millions of fans. Well make an amendment to that, perhaps 29 teams, the Jaguars just suck. Inevitably, hundreds of "experts" will be making their selections for the season and so, in order to not look like (or look like) a fool, I shall tender my own. Ten guarantees for 2013. And the Vikings suck.
1. Carolina, Oakland, and Jacksonville Suck
Currently, not a single game has been played, not a point tallied, or a score sheet filled and already these three teams have been knocked out of the playoffs. Carolina has no offensive players at skill positions (excluding Cam Newton), Oakland hasn't got a quarterback or an O-Line, and Jacksonville is a combination of both mixed with no defense either. By seasons end, Ron Rivera, Blaine Gabbert, and Terrelle Pryor will all be unemployed.
2. Those teams who you thought were good? They aren't.
Many of the teams on this list have A+ talent, many have individual talent that is better than anyone on a winning team, but inevitable one individual does not a team make and failure will be out in full force for many teams this year. Minnesota, Tampa Bay, St. Louis, Cleveland, and Buffalo (duh) all have commanding leaders including AP, Revis, (I lied about St. Louis having a leader), Richardson, and Spiller. However, each of these five haven't got a quarterback. For those of you who think rookie quarterbacks will have a year like last year, think again. Also, 2.5 Tavon Austin (STL) will win offensive ROY. And the Vikings suck.
3. Those teams who are picked to be good? They aren't.
There are many teams that are perennial winners and many that are being picked as grand upset and upstart teams. But not everyone can be right. Andy Reid is a good coach in Kansas City but as a team it will take more than one off season to build chemistry. Tennessee(7-9), no surprise here. Locker, who I watched in college isn't a star quality QB1. Loggains is a poor OC for a QB like Locker and Britt/Johnson are over the hill. Now how about a few popular teams? Pittsburgh, will not make the playoffs. They are hurting at RB, have lost a great deal on D, and Roethlisberger has lost velocity. Chicago. Simple, I don't believe in Jay Cutler. Indianapolis. Most QBs go through a Sophomore slump but few are predicting this will happen for Luck, I am not so sure. And, Miami. (By the way the Vikings Suck) I know that they are a favorite pick for many, but Tannehill just isn't the QB for me. With Keller out for the year and Wallace losing a step since Pittsburgh, I cannot see the other pick ups of Ellerbe and Grimes making the difference. I do think New England is down this year, but the division will be a cake walk.
4. Surprising teams
San Diego will challenge the Broncos. I am not willing to say that they will contend, but they will challenge. Looking at their schedule I see them going 8-8, if not 9-7 and challenging for the 2nd Wild Card. Hell, I'm picking them for the second Wild Card. This would be my upset for the year.
Baltimore won't be as bad as they are predicted to be. The loss of Dennis Pitta is huge, arguably larger than the loss of Lewis or any of their free agents. Their D is still strong and they have the dual backs in Pierce and Rice. They will make the playoffs.
Arizona will Contend, but will fail to make a playoff run. Their real problem won't be improving but having to play San Fran and Seattle.
5. The New York Football Jets won't suck.
I have absolutely no proof to back up this statement. They are in complete disarray, without a solid QB, RB, WR, D line, or pretty much anything. All I can say is I've got a feeling.
6. The NFC East is the most competitive division, but NFC West is the best.
Expect another bloody year between the four teams in the East. The winner will once again come out beaten up and at best with 10 wins. However, the Seahawks and the Niners are both major contenders for the Superbowl with the Cardinals coming on strong. They are the best division by talent. And the Vikings Suck.
7. MVP will be Aaron Rodgers.
Partially because I am a Packers fan and partially because, no fuck it, it's entirely because I am a Packers Fan.
8. NFC
East: Will be a fight to the finish, but unlike in years past only one team will survive and make the playoffs. Philly will adapt the Kelly Offense, Romo will be better, and RG III will return with a great year, but the NY Giants will prevail.
North: Packers, duh.
South: Atlanta is not as good as they were a year ago, expect the Saints to return to glory again.
West: Impossible to know. They have equally great D's, problems with RB, and essentially Sophomore QBs (I know Colin K is in his third year). I pick the Seahawks.
Wild Cards: Contenders will include Atlanta, Detroit, Philly, Washington, and San Francisco. San Francisco will run away with the first slot and then four teams will battle it out down the stretch. It will come down to Washington and Atlanta. And my gut is telling me to go against what I said above in the East and pick Washington.
Playoffs: 1. Seahawks 2. Packers 3. Saints 4. Giants 5. Niners 6. Washington. The Saints take care of Washington and the Niners are upset on the road against the Giants (Seeding it won't be an upset, but it will be a huge upset.) Packers take out the Giants and the Seahawks dismantle the Saints. Then is a rematch Golden Tate can't escape the Packers beat the Seahawks on the final drive of the game to win the NFC Championship.
9. AFC
East: Unfortunately no one will contend. The Patriots walk away with it. (Please let this be wrong).
North: Tough division. The Bengals, Ravens, and Steelers will duke it out. I already said I don't like the Steelers this year and the Bengals will live up to the hype, but not that big. Upset the Ravens take the division crown.
South: Houston.
West: Denver, but not as easily as anyone predicts.
Wild Cards: The Bengals take it handedly and my upset of the year will be the Chargers.
Playoffs: 1. Broncos 2. Patriots 3. Texans 4. Ravens 5. Bengals 6. Chargers. The upstart Chargers will scare the Texans in the first half, but will fail to pull off the victory. In a regular season rematch the Bengals will take out the Ravens. The Broncos will have an offensive masterpiece and beat the Texans D and the Bengals will upset the Patriots. Then the favorite pick of the year Broncos will go to the Superbowl.
10. SUPERBOWL
Packers, but are you really surprised? If they fail I think the Seahawks will make Seattle proud. And the Vikings suck.
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