Music has allows been the resounding heartbeat behind any major presidential campaign. When I had the idea for this week's blog post I asked many of my political friends what song puts you in the mood for campaign season? What song lets you know, oh shit, time to go to work, candidates to elect and all, especially in the final sprint to the finale. A couple said, Europe's "The Final Countdown," another wrote "Power" by Kanye West, and another said, "I Want you Back" by the Jackson Five. The last one is a little weird, but then again the person who wrote it has always been a little bit of a nut bar. For me, it has always been the same song. The one that I dare you to stop tapping your foot.
"Jet Airliner" by Steve Miller Band. Aside from the fact that it was used during a Presidential Campaign, albeit a fictional one, I have always had a love affair for this song. It was used in Episode 134, "The Mommy Problem," from one of the greatest television shows ever created, "The West Wing."
Leavin' home, out on the road
I've been down before
Ridin' along in this big ol' jet plane
I've been thinkin' about my home
But my love light seems so far away
And I feel like it's all been done
Somebody's tryin' to make me stay
You know I've got to be movin' on
Oh, Oh big ol' jet airliner
Don't carry me too far away
Oh, Oh big ol' jet airliner
Cause it's here that I've got to stay
In a day and age when presidential campaigns are almost all run by multi-million dollar airline jets, this song always reminds me of the road. My other political campaign song comes from my time in Arizona, "Ch-Check It Out" by Nicki Minaj w/Will.I.Am., but I will leave that up to the imagination as to why. Colin Dyer knows why and we will take it to the grave with us.
To say that a presidential campaign is won or lost by a campaign song is idiotic, but every little bit helps. From the Harrison/Tyler campaign of 1840, with the Whig Party hymnal "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" to the 1960 Election for JFK with the song inventively titled, "Kennedy" where the song consisted of a shit ton of brainwashed people singing "Kennedy" over and over again, campaign musical notes have rifled through the airwaves.
More recently the importance of picking a Campaign Theme Song has become crucial for each candidate. Hilary Clinton went on a nationwide search, even creating a Sopranos parody ad just to promote the eventual choice of "Takin' Care of Business," which apparently she was not. Some choices are corny. Both the Bush's chose equally stupid picks for their first runs at office, "This Land is Your Land" for Herbert Walker and "We the People" for Dubya. Some choices are corny, but effective. Both Gore and Romney used Bachman Turner Overdrive's "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet." And then there are the completely absurd, weird, cockeyed, wacko choices. I can think of two of the top of my head in recent history, both ended up being Vice Presidential Nominees.
Joe Lieberman chose the song "We are Family" by Sister Sledge during his campaign for the 2000 election. That's right, "We are Family," the hit amongst drag-queens and Miami club owners. "We are family. I got all my sisters with me. We are family. Get up ev'rybody and sing." That song. Now obviously I have zero problem with the lifestyle of Drag Queens and think they should be celebrated…but not by Joe Lieberman. And who are Sister Sledge? A group of African American Sister Singers from Philadelphia. Joe, what the hell do you know about anything that I have just said? Joe Lieberman's song should have been Weird Al's "White and Nerdy."
Weird Wacko Song #2: Paul Ryan chooses "We're Not Gonna Take it" by Twisted Sister. By the way, Dee Snider was so pissed that Ryan used this song in rallies that he wrote numerous cease-and-desist letters and the song no longer exists when Ryan enters. Now you may be asking yourselves, what is my problem with Twisted Sister? Nothing. They are the Iron Men of Rock and Roll and Dee Snider is a legend. But Ryan using a song written by a group that promoted Anarchy and free thinking hippie agendas, yeah, that's an issue. And he tried to steal it from Snider. I will let Snider tell you what he thinks, "I emphatically denounce Paul Ryan's use of my song 'We're Not Gonna Take It' as recorded by my band Twisted Sister. There is almost nothing on which I agree with Paul Ryan, except perhaps the use of the P90X."
So there have been a few crappy song choices. But much like The Daily Show with Jon Stewart when it comes to campaign convention videos, I, too, believe in a touch of revisionist history. So here, with no concept of actual time periods of when songs originated, are a few ideas I might have suggested for the candidates for the last four presidential election cycles:
2000 Election:
George W. Bush: Lost! (Coldplay)
Dick Cheney: Heartless (Kanye West)
Vs
Al Gore: Almost (Bowling for Soup)
Joseph Lieberman: There's Another Dumbass on the Mountain (Those Darn Accordions)
2004 Election
George W. Bush: I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts
Dick Cheney: Broken Soul (Seventhseal)
VS
John Kerry: Help (The Beatles)
John Edwards: Smile and Pretend (Dale Inskeep)
2008 Election
Barack Obama: Hope Now (Addison Road)
Joe Biden: Keep Your Mouth Shut (Blueheels)
VS
John McCain: Heart Attack (Trey Songz)
Sarah Palin: The Biggest Idiot in the World (Aroah)
2012 Election
Barack Obama: I Keep Hoping (Foreigner)
Joe Biden: Malarky (Nu Brand Flexx)
VS
Mitt Romney & Paul Ryan: It's the End of the World as We Know It (R.E.M.)
"Always Believe"
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