Top Tens, Rants, and Dan Miller

"I couldn't fall asleep in your arms, I'd be too busy looking into your beautiful eyes."

~Some stupid corny person

I was looking for a quote to start this week's post and this is the best I can come up with.  I was searching for quotes about being incredibly busy, and this one popped up first.  It has nothing to do with my life, but I am too tired and too busy to care.  As a graduate student, I knew that returning to college was going to be hard.  Undergraduate was difficult, but Graduate School is a whole other beast.  No, it's the same beast, except this time the beast has grown wings and sprouted a tail and is suffering from 'roid rage and hopped up on cocaine and heroin…and is trying to kill you.  That's Graduate school.  Not altogether terrible, but so very very busy.  

The Physical Representation of Grad School

So writing a long drawn out post just isn't in my repertoire tonight.  (AKA didn't have time to write the Star Wars Post).  Instead I will give you a short list.  The top ten meaningless things that are really pissing me off.  And the top ten meaningless things are like a Unicorn giving birth to a Rainbow.  Well, not meaningless, but in the grad scheme of things football and movies is less important than death and sickness.

Top Ten Things That Are Really Pissing Me Off

10.  Fantasy Football "Ties"

This last week I played in one of my best games of the season.  Wait, check that.  It was my best game of the season.  170 points.  170 points.  Most teams need two weeks to score that many but I did it in one.  Everyone on my team had double digits.  33 from Flacco, 30 from the Ravens D, and 23 from Arian Foster to name a few.  But due to some freak accident, I was playing the best person in the league.  She had two go for 40+.  And her total was 168, but because I am in a stupid league she got home field advantage +2 and had 170.  Sure I was upset, but hey in a tough league I'll take a tie.  BUT wait.  I lost.  Why?  Because there is a little clause in rules that says in the event of a tie you go to bench points.  F that noise.  My bench is there because I have players on bye weeks.  So I had 41 and she had 54.  She wins.  I'M PISSED.

9.  Ella Henderson Losing on X Factor

Yes, I watch the X Factor.  Not the annoying stupid American television show with Simon Cowell awkwardly hitting on a 20 year-old Demi Lovato, but the wonderfully posh British X factor.  Every Saturday and Sunday night.  This season it is incredibly easy to tell who has been the top two or three singers on the show.  It definitely includes Ella Henderson and James Arthur.  This week they were in the bottom two and Ella was voted off.  Ella has the voice of a 16 year-old Adele.  Hands down.  F that noise.  The British public instead chose to keep a Karaoke singer, another Karaoke singer (both great people but shit Singers), and a boy band that has a lead singer who looks like he went to the Zoolander school of one look poses.  Ella rocks.  I'M PISSED.

8. The Sales Tax in Richmond

It makes zero sense or cents.  Some places it is 5%, others it is like 13%, and at others it is non existent.  i just want my half and half Arnold Palmer for the 99 cents it promises me.  Is that too much to ask?  I'M PISSED

7.  Maryland and Rutgers Joining the Big Ten

This one is simple.  The Big Ten used to be about the Midwest.  Now it is about money.  I get that money was always part of the game, but it is now only about money.  And it isn't the Big Ten if they have 14 teams.  I don't want Iowa to play Maryland.  I don't want Iowa to play Rutgers.  Iowa playing in Maryland and near NYC is a joke.  I'M PISSED.

6.  People Who Still Care About the Election….The One in 2014

The election is over.  It was the dirtiest and costliest in American History.  Shut up about politics and GOVERN.  The problem with this country is people cannot see the difference between politics and government, they think they are the same thing.  They aren't.  I'M Mildly Pissed.

5.  Stupid Protests led by Stupid People

Protests used to mean something in this country.  Vietnam, Iraq, this isn't to say you need a war to protest, but the Occupy Movement was a great example as well.  However, the protests that take place on VCU's Campus…are idiotic.  Today was a protest to get out of Gaza.  I'm not attacking what they are standing for, I have no fully formed opinion on either side.  What I have a problem with is people who think that standing around, in the middle of Richmond, keeping ME from getting to the Library, yelling "1,2,3,4, Netanyahu out the door, 5,6,7,8 he murders babies."  One that doesn't rhyme.  Two…it doesn't work.  There is zero point in protesting in Richmond Virginia for something that they majority of the people didn't fully comprehend and there is no point in protesting here.  Go to Washington, Organize a nationwide protest, or LEARN SOMETHING about your subject first.  Dear god.  I'M PISSED.

4.  Mac Keeper

Every time I watch TV on my computer an ad for Mac Keeper pops up.  A 911 app for my computer.  I don't want you Mac Keeper.  Stop talking to me.  I'M PISSED, actually I'm not.  I'M ANNOYED.

3.  Stephenie Meyer

Sucks.  Period.  Meyer is a Mormon and while I have numerous issues with her religion I am not going to condemn her for her beliefs.  I have great friends who are Mormons.  I will however condemn her for writing a terrible soft core porn book in that of Breaking Dawn and the fact that she is a Mormon.  Or the part that all these books lead up to one thing.  Young girl gets married young entirely so she can blackmail Vampire and lose her virginity.  Yeah, great Mormon values there Meyer.  Now she has a new movie coming out called The Host.  The Host Trailer  Looks like total Horse crap.  And yet, and yet.  She is still so damn popular.  I'M PISSED.

2.  Doctors in Richmond

They suck.  Enough said.  I have my reasons.  Just give me an appointment.  I'M REALLY PISSED.

1.  Drivers in Richmond  

Richmond Drivers are the worst drivers on the face of the planet.  IT IS CALLED A TURN SIGNAL.  WILL SOMEONE IN THIS GODFORSAKEN CITY USE IT?!?!?!  Sorry.  I'M PISSED.

Top Ten Things That Are Like A Unicorn Giving Birth To A Rainbow

10.  Cloud Atlas 

Adam Ewing:  What is an ocean but a multitude a drops?

To say anything about this movie would give it away and at the same time I could reveal the entire plot and you would still have no idea what the hell it is about.  I was mesmerized and in love.  Yes, there are obvious plot holes, in the movie, not the book, and certain character crossovers didn't work but overall it got me to think in ways I had I never thought before.  Jim Sturgess gives a tour de force acting performance, but it is Tom Hanks who deserves to be nominated for best actor(s) for this movie.  The (s) you will get when you see the movie.  A guarantee it will win at least one Oscar for best Makeup Design.  I am pleased.  Cloud Atlas Trailer

9.  Butoh Theatre 

Is friction' awesome.  Butoh is the collective name for a diverse range of activities, techniques and motivations for dance, performance, or movement inspired by the Ankoku-Butoh movement. It typically involves playful and grotesque imagery, taboo topics, extreme or absurd environments, and is traditionally performed in white body makeup with slow hyper-controlled motion, with or without an audience. There is no set style, and it may be purely conceptual with no movement at all.  And I love it.  And I will be performing it.  I am pleased.

8.  Milton Jones/Stewart Francis

One Line Comedians for the win.  In researching a paper topic for a Comedian thesis I have found two of my favorite Comedians who express their wit, a few words at a time.

Milton Jones:

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so…retired mermaids.

About a month before he died, my grandfather, we covered his back full of lard – after that he went downhill very quickly.

Stewart Francis:

I have a girlfriend.  I've been going out with my girlfriend for…..sex.

My Father was a man of few words, I remember he used to say to me, "son."

I am more than pleased.

7.  Ron Barber Wins!

Finally.  Ron Barber is re-elected Congressman of the great state of Arizona.  I am pleased.

6.  Castle:  The Final Frontier

An episode of the TV show Castle from November 5th.  The entire episode is a gigantic Firefly reference and while I am not a massive fan of that show, I did enjoy Serenity, and I love Nathan Fillion.  I am pleased.

My Homework

5.  My Dog Ate My Homework  

For the first time in my life I can actually say that my dog ate my homework when my dog ate my copy of Paula Poundstone's book the second it came in the mail.  I should be pissed, but I thought it was hilarious.  Go figure.  I am surprisingly pleased.  

4.  In My Mind:  The Hamsters  The Hamsters

For no reason what so ever, I love the Kia Soul Hamster commercials.  I think they are a mixture of the most adorable things and the coolest things on ad television.  Something about hamsters, ballet, and Opera turning into a dance club is sweet.   And I love the song that goes with the new one.  I am very pleased.

3.  The Saints and the $30 Sub

Due to the immense amount of work that I have to finish, I had to cancel all of my Thanksgiving plans.  Sad.  However that does mean that I get to have my $30 Sub and watch the Saints.  For those who don't know, a tradition that started in 2006, every Thanksgiving I watch The Boondock Saints and make a two foot long Sub sandwich with over 25 toppings that usually costs around $30 - $50 to make.  I am very pleased.

2.  Notre Dame #1 in the BCS

YEA BABY!!!  Oregon goes down.  K-State goes down and finally the 11-0 Fighting Irish are 1 win away from the National Championship.  I have never been more excited to be a sports fan.  And Matt Barkley is out this weekend for USC.  1 game.  I am STOKED!!!

Going down Daniel...

1.  Dan Miller

Dan Miller is my best friend.  We met in college during a silly school political campaign, one we both lost, and have remained close ever since.  I consider him to be a part of my family.  Which is why I cannot wait for the IRISH TO BEAT DOWN USC SO I CAN STUFF IT DOWN HIS THROAT.  His constant nagging all season long about how much the Irish suck and how badly they are going to get beaten is all the fuel I need.  If the Irish win on Saturday I will never let him live it down.  Ever.  Ever.  I mean, what are friends for.

A few quotes from the great Daniel Miller, a die-hard Oregon State Fan, but current Law Student at U of Oregon:

October 20th:  "OSU (Oregon State) is better than ND."  &  "But OSU is better.  Better offense, better defense.  Didn't need the refs to gift us a game."

October 27th:  "That's a good win for y'all.  But USC is gonna smoke you unless lee gets injured."  &  "You'll still lose to SC so I'm not worried."  &  "They are gonna stomp ND.  Offense is too good.  Landry Jones and Okla has no wideouts like Marquise lee or woods."  &  "We (OSU) would beat you if we played.  But clearly you deserve to be ranked higher.  I hope bama loses and you win out and play oregon or OSU in the natty."  (The Week OSU lost to UW)

November 3rd: "That's because Oregon is so good on offense."  &  "Oregon will win, can't stop this train, Oregon is too good, might score 70, Oregon is unstoppable."

November 17th:  "Oregon is gonna win.  And this is perfect for me.  Then we can beat ND."  &  "Just wait.  We'll win then we'll come beat that ND ass."  

OREGON LOSES- K STATE LOSES

"I'm not even worried.  SC is gonna stomp y'all next week.  THen you can meet oregon in a bowl and get killed."

…"The best revenge is massive success."  ~Frank Sinatra.   "….and a whole lot of gloating."  ~Me

Go Irish!  ND Fight Song