I have decided that I dislike the month of December. In the past two Decembers I have lost two of my mentors, teachers, and friends. Before that I have lost friends and family and now, tomorrow, the world will be coming to an end. So December, screw you.
With the end of the world so close I thought it gave me license to talk a little about life. About my life and life in general. So here goes nothing.
On Tuesday December 18th, 2012 the world lost one of its finest colleagues. Mr. Winston Alnot was a man of superior passion, not just for his work but for his life. A genius of a mind in his own right, he was much more than just a teacher. He was a world class chef, a champion chess player, and a fantastic molder of young minds. In town he was famous for his Thanksgiving meal which he cooked, on school grounds, starting very early the last day of classes before the break. Mr. Alnot would get a turkey, kill it on the spot, and then he and other teachers would cook the meal. His belief was that the only way students could appreciate history, they also had to be a part of history. The meal was discontinued towards the end of his career, but his passion for "living history" never dampened.
I knew Mr. Alnot as a teacher at the end of his career. By that time the years of teaching had tired him and many said he was not the same teacher that he once was. I never once witnessed these claims. Mr. Alnot was one of the most influential people in my small world. He wrote letters to each school that I applied for, and depending on the program, changed the letter to fit the school. He taught me criminal justice, world history, and sociology. He showed me what the constitution really meant, he showed me the worlds of Rome and Ancient Greece, and he inspired me with a world of blossoming unions created through community. He also taught me chess. And through his education of chess he taught me how to appreciate even the disappointments in my life.
One afternoon towards the end of a particular semester, I forget which one, Mr. Alnot and I sat down to a game of chess. This wasn't our first game, but in the dozen or so previous meetings he had beaten me easily. As I went to make my first move he stopped me, and he spoke a few sentences that have had a massive impact on my life. He picked up the pawn I was about to use, looked at it, then looked me square in the eye and said, "You always have to look three moves in front of you, not just at your current turn. Grant, this is as true in chess as it is in life. Understand and live in your present, but see the board of your life always, always know that with every action there will be decisions put out in front of you. Know which path you are going to take and then take it. You can always come back, but never to the same place you were before. Look at the board, take a breath, and relax. It's your turn." I won the game. He smiled as he always did and said, "I will see you tomorrow Mr. Freeman."
After Mr. Alnot retired I only saw him twice. Once was briefly at a Farmers Market and the second time was a few days over a year ago today. We were leaving the open casket viewing of my other mentor, hero, and friend, Maggie Ellison. As I walked out into the night I saw a man, bundled up to withstand the cold, he looked at me, and although they were far too tired, I saw his eyes briefly light up. Mr. Alnot smiled and said, "It's wonderful to see you Mr. Freeman." After a few brief pleasantries, after all we were both heart broken over the passing of Maggie, I said I needed to go. I could tell that he didn't have any hair and figured, but did not ask out of respect that it was cancer. I said, "Please take care of yourself Mr. Alnot." I am not sure what he said, but I know that he smiled, grinned, and shook my hand. That is what I remember from my last visit with him.
Life is a very tricky thing, one that very few of us fully understand or appreciate until we lose someone we love or until we are nearing our final breath. By writing this post I am not saying that I now understand or truly appreciate my life, but I can tell you that I am getting better.
For the first time in my life I am putting my health as the top priority. After a year of near fatal concussions and illnesses I am finally understanding that without my health I will never achieve the goals that I have set out in front of me. And the goals, I finally have goals, achievable dreams that coexist along with my morals for how I choose to live as a human being on this earth. I want to live in a world that considers neighbors as important as it considers family. Where getting along is the dream, but understanding one another is the achievable consequence of pursuing that course. I want to live in a world that is not divided by race, religion, sex, sexual attraction, politics, or belief, but instead is united by commonality and mutual respect for the morality of humanity. I want to live in a world that values its fine arts as much as its sports, where it recognizes and praises the creative minds as well as the strong bodies. I want to live in a world that cherishes its children and puts their priorities above their own. I want to live in a world that respects the world that it lives in.
Those are my goals. Achievable, no? Well I believe they are. Maybe not for the world at large but for my world, the one that encompasses myself, my family, and my friends, yes I believe that I will strive for this everyday. My compass for navigating through these hazardous waters will be theatre. Theatre has the ability to drive away the forces of hate, to procure a better working tomorrow, and to enlighten minds and hearts. With theatre we open the world of imagination, of learning, and of creative fun. With theatre we can change all those goals above for communities in this country and the world. Together we can slowly rebuild our planet.
The road will be hard. And for all I know the world will be short, if the world does indeed end tomorrow, but it is the road that I wish to travel on. And I will fall and I will lose hope and I will fail at times to live up to what I believe in. But I can only look three moves in front of me and see that I am still walking. I hope that you can join me and walk with me on that road. And we will live for today, while building a better future for tomorrow.
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| A good seven points |
Grant Freeman
"Always Believe"
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