20 Profound Statements…That Aren't That Profound...or Important

20.  Action Movies are Dead:  And this is not just because I just saw Olympus has Fallen, although that is a contributing factor.  Remember back in the 1990's when we made fun of action movies like Air Force One, Con Air, The Rock, well those are classics compared to the fare we get today.  Olympus Has Fallen serves as a wonderful example of the death of action movies.  It was hilarious in how bad it was.  The cast includes Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett, Gerard Butler, Ashley Judd, and many others.  Each of these actors can carry their own movies.  Obviously this is where they spent their budget.  Some of the worse CGI work I have ever seen, a plot that is predicated on the fact that if the front door is breached the White House will fall, Aaron Eckhart is a terribly nice man, but terrible President.  There are so many problems least of which is after Butler saves…the country from nuclear annihilation his reward is that he gets his job back on the Secret Service.  One, he is seen on world wide television as the savior of the White House.  Isn't the job of a secret service agent to be, umm, secret.  The other is that he saves the world.  Half the major government is dead and the Army Chief of Staff is an imbecile, you are telling me he couldn't get a better job.  Sorry.  Not meaning to rant.  Although, wait, that's the name of the blog.  I like guys like Jason Statham, but unfortunately the action industry is dead, and I do mean the mainstream action industry.  Movies like Crank that are shot in a Grindhouse fashion are still thriving.  But nowadays you don't get real action stars like Willis, Gibson and Glover, Stallone.  The time has passed.  Perhaps as we get older the offshoots will succeed to the point where they become the new medium.

19.  April Fools Day is Awesome:  When done correctly.  When meant to hurt, demean, or destroy other people it is stupid and ignorant of the title.  It is about fooling, about being a trickster, about fun and triviality.  This year I set an all new record with 65 people fooled.  I even got my Grandmother, on accident.  Some of my favorites that I used this year were: My Great Grandfather invented the fork, All cheese is invented in France, I was bit by a rabid raccoon, and The pope resigned because of bad bunions.  A solid year to be sure.

18.  Although not in the news very much, Donald Trump is Still an Idiot.  Enough said.  

17.  Cat Positioning is Wrong:  I have ranted before on the fact that there are too many cats on Facebook.  Although I, too, have participated if only briefly in this cat craze, it is still wrong.  Positioning your cat because it looks funny and taking a picture, making the cat play the piano, all of these things are wrong and are ultimately lower degrees, but still animal cruelty.

16.  Brittany Griner + NBA= Good:  The news reports that Mark Cuban is considering drafting Brittany Griner.  Obviously this is a publicity stunt, a media buy, a marketing ploy, and a way for Cuban to make money, but if Griner plays in even one NBA game, it will be a massive success and a big thing for women equality in sports.  Sure it may be about money, but what isn't.  The road to success is never filled with purely good intentions.  Don't tell me Branch Rickey wasn't in it for the money.

15.  20 Statements was Far Too Long a List:  I have no time.  Why am I doing this?

Last time Heigl was good at acting

14.  Katherine Heigl is Shit:  It is not just that she sucks in romantic comedies, but really that she flat out is an average to less than average actress at best.  Other than 27 Dresses she has been the cause of everyone of the movies that has flopped, and they all have.  You may say that Knocked Up is a good movie, but it really isn't a good movie.  It is a funny movie + Katherine Heigl.  Stop with the Heigl.

13.  Fox News Sucks, but…:  so does CNN.  CNN has become so shitty.  Read CNN.com and you'll will see how terrible it has become where not only is everything sensationalized but also blown so far out of proportion that it is quite despicable to see.  Every single news story is now breaking news.  They are the boy who cried wolf…constantly.  And a little food for thought.  This is what terrible Bill O'Reilly said "O'Reilly claimed last week that opponents simply "thump the Bible" and the biblical argument wasn't strong enough against reasonable logic that gay Americans just want to be treated like everyone else."  hmm.

12.  Sleep is Overrated:  Bullshit.  People who say this are full of shit and are most likely getting an adequate amount of sleep.  Damn them.  

11.  This Girl is Amazing:  Yes I am coming late to the party, but at least I showed up at all.  Talia Castellano is a hero and should by looked up to by everyone.  Made famous, last year, by The Ellen Show she is a 13 year old girl who dreams of being a fashion and makeup designer.  She has her own Youtube channel and is followed by over half a million people.  She also has suffered from multiple cancers that will likely claim her life and she speaks about them with the clarity and understanding that few people my age or older would be able to do.  And she is adorable.  Both tragic and horrible her story is also one that laughs in the face of unbelievable odds and never stops swimming forward.  

10.  Ellen Degeneres is Awesome:  I don't really need to say anything here cause it's just that.  Proven.  But petitioning for years and now Finding Dory is going to be made.  Good for her.

9.  Chocolate by Snow Patrol is their Best Song:  This is based on absolutely no information whatsoever.  

Poor Patrick

8.  Red Dawn Doesn't Hold Up:  Unfortunate but quite true.  Upon a recent viewing, aside from the many plot holes and character mishaps it is done too campy for such a serious movie.  Kids are dying and it's still being treated almost like Ferris Bueller.  Eventually it gets real.  But not in time to save the movie.  the jingoism, the commie bullshit, and the terrible, terrible script, in addition to the awful acting, make Red Dawn an almost unbearable movie to watch today.  Other movies that don't hold up:  Godzilla 2000, I know it was shit at the time, but I thought it was really funny, nope it's just shit.  Heavyweights, although you can clearly see where Ben Stiller got his inspiration for Dodgeball.  The Dark Crystal, I couldn't even make it 10 minutes into it again.  Any Superman other than the first one.  Also, Superman.  Finally, The Towering Inferno, Robert Wagner notices his building is on fire, so he throws a damp bath towel over his head and almost manages to mess up his hair. With a reassuring wink, he tells his workplace fuck buddy he once ran the 100-yard dash in 10 seconds flat and then proceeds to run out of his office and directly into a flaming chair, not 3 yards into his 100-yard dash.  Then in slow motion he runs into everything else that is on fire and falls through a sheer glass window.

7.  Footloose Has No Business Holding Up:  But it does.  This is truly one of the dumbest plots that I have ever heard of.  A town outlaws rock music and dancing.  And Kevin Bacon shakes it up.  So dumb, but yet a credible Bacon and Lori Singer along with a relatively great (relative for the movie) performance by Jon Lithgow makes this a good movie today.  Far better than the shot for shot remake.  

6.  Hashtags, LOL, and Totes:  Are ruining society.  Oh and Stephanie Meyer books too.

5.  Taylor Swift's Next Boyfriend:  Should sign an agreement that says if we break up you cannot use it is a song about me.  

4.  Caridad Svich is the Best Playwright Ever:  Not true, but she is damn good.  Look her up if you are in need of a play to read.

3.  The Red and White Equality Sign:  Was both incredibly trendy and overdone, and amazingly awesome.  It was great to see that much support and there was a day where that is all we talked about.  Good or bad it caused a conversation.

2.  I'm 6'8":  Same height as Brittany Griner.  I saw a report on her and people who are 6'8" are 99.36% taller than the rest of America.  Cool.

1.  Sportsmanship is Still Great to Watch:  A softball player tears her ACL on a homer that would win the game for her team.  If her teammates get off the bench she's declared out.  So the other team picks her up and carries her around the bases.  The Marcus Lattimore injury and both teams come out on the field in support of one of the best players in college sports.  Sports, both professional and College are the definition of competitive.  But it is wonderful to see people with humanity and compassion.  I think of this because of one major story from December.  "On December 2, Basque athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Burlada, Navarre. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai - bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics. As they entered the finishing straight, he saw the Kenyan runner - the certain winner of the race - mistakenly pull up about 10 meters before the finish, thinking he had already crossed the line.  Fernández Anaya quickly caught up with him, but instead of exploiting Mutai’s mistake to speed past and claim an unlikely victory, he stayed behind and, using gestures, guided the Kenyan to the line and let him cross first."  Simply wonderful.